Santa Banta Wishes and Status Messages - Page 13

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.

Jeeto (maatha peet te hue): Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

Santa-muje munni chahiye. Wife-nahi muje munna chahiye. Santa-chalo gullu se puchte he. Santa & wife-gullu beta tumhe kya chahiye? Gullu-muje KUTTA Chahiye..

Teacher to santa-kya tum jante ho barish ke samey bijali kyon chamkti hai. Santa-bhen ji rabb torch maar ke vekhda ke kito suka ta nahi reh geya..

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya.

Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao

Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!

Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

Santa n Banta were watchin a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal ismein nahin cricket mein hota hai

Santa: Movie vich raat ik chudel kde mere agge kde pichhe..


Wife: kehri movie c?

Santa:Apne vyah di movie c .

Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'
He wrote: I was made by a mistake.

Santa apni gal friend ko I Luv kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

Santa: Yaar meri aankhein dhang se nahin khulti, koi tarika batao.
Banta: Kisi din achanak apne ghar chale jaao.

Once someone sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry & replied: Bhejnewala gadha, Padhnewala mahan

Santa: Oye, tera vyah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan
Santa: Kudi naal.
Banta: Oye, munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan, meri sister da hoya si.

Father:Beta tum maths mein fail kaise ho gaye.
Son:Papa maths mein sood ka sawal aa gaya tha.
Father:To beta usse solve kar de te.
Son:Papa aapne kaha tha na ke sood haram hota hai to mein samjha ke sawal bhi haram hoga.

An ATM's jammed & failed when operated by Santa.
Why?
B'coz he put a pin from his turban when asked: Enter ur Pin

Sharaabi Santa knocks the door of his house. His wife opens the door.
Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

Santa & Banta were going with their friend on one scooter & a traffic police tried to stop them.
Santa said: Sorry bhaji, already 3 baithe hain bilkul bhi jagah nahin hai

Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

SANTA in a hospital told 2 NURSE I Luv U
Aapne mera DIL Churaya hai, NURSE- joothe, dil ko humne hath bhi nai lagaya humne to sirf KIDNEY churayi hai.

Santa: I am a proud sardar, my son is in medical college in London.

Banta: really what is he studying?

Santa: he is not studying, they r studying on him.

Teacher: Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand & ends with left hand.

Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si.
Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.

Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G.
Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...

Santa: Tainu tairna aanda hai?
Banta: No
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair lende ne
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?
Santa: Aaho
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai?

U have 2 cigarettes on a boat but no source of fire. Hw will u lite a cigarette if u r in d middle of d river?





SUM ANS BY SANTA Ans:1) throw 1 cigarette into d river. It will make d boat LIGHTER. Use it to light cigarette. 2nd method : throw a cigarette in air & catch it. Catches win MATCHES. Use these matches to light cigarette . 3rd method: take some river water,let it fall drop by drop .U know that'tip tip barsa pani,pani ne AAG lagayee.

Banta: Some people can tell time by looking at the sun.
Santa: But I've never been able to see the numbers