Santa Banta Wishes and Status Messages - Page 16

Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha
set
kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein
chalaoonga!

Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion''s cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn''t say he got out.

Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.

Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ''Free Delivery''

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega,
Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega,
Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko,
Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.

Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don''t believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".
(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)
Santa: "Shame on you God, you don''t even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"

Jeeto: I didn''t know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.

Master: Mein tenu kutte te essay likhan nu
keha si, Likh ke kyu nahi liyanda ?
Santa: Ki karda master g,
jidan he mein kutte te Pen rakhia oh paj geya!!!

Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don''t you use a mouth wash?"

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What''ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I''ll take the money.

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ''Free Delivery''

Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He''s not studying, they are studying him!

How do you recognize Santa''s son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u''ll die.
Santa: U''ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

What''s Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What''s Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I''m sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"