Santa Banta Wishes and Status Messages - Page 17

Santa was inserting dog''s tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.

Santa: Ki karda master g,
jidan he mein kutte te Pen rakhia oh paj geya!!!

Santa''s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife''s lover is crying furiously...
Finally, santa consoles him: Don''t worry buddy, I will marry again.

Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What''ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I''ll take the money.

Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?"
Banta: "B.A."
Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"

Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.

An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.

Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas''s brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas

Jeeto yelled at santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!

Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."

Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time santa asks: "behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?" Girl: "Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye."

Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!

Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.

Santa''s shayari: Kutta marr gaya razai vich, main pagal ho gaya teri judai vich, fernail te machchar beh nahi sakda, main tere bina hun reh nahi sakda.

Santa apni GF ko I love u kehta aur gir jata.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa : I am falling in love.

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".

Teacher to santa: where were you born?
Santa: Thiruvananthapuram
Teacher: can u spell it?
Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.

Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..

Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".
(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)
Santa: "Shame on you God, you don''t even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"

Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...?

Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."

Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there''s nothing down here.

Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn''t tell me where..

Santa: Mein tere 64 de 64 dand todd dene hai.
Ik hor aadmi ne keha santa 64 nahi 32 Dand hunde ne.
Santa: Meinu patta se tu vi bolega is layi tere vi gin laye ne.

Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai!
Maa: Bolo beta.
Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki.
Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.

Master: Mein tenu kutte te essay likhan nu
keha si, Likh ke kyu nahi liyanda ?