Udit Maheshwari's Quote Collection - Page 2

Phulo me gulab acha lagta he
hr chehre p shabab achha lagta he
Aap hamesha naak se chuhe nikalte raho
hame aapka yahi andaaz achha lagta hai

RAAZ public toilet gya to Diwar p likha tha

"Dunya Chand p pohnch gai
or Tm yha bethe ho?

RAAZ niche likh aaya "Bs Ye kr k Hm b ja rhe he

Kabi Kabi Mere Dil Me Khayal Aata He..

K

Jub Bijli Nai Hoti to Bill Kaha Se Aata hai

Teacher Mehnat Karoge
To Kuch Banoge

Sant-Teacher Hamra
Gadha To Itni Mehnat Karta Hai

Magr Wo Ab Tak Kuch Nahi Bana ...;->

Life is Beautiful...
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.
.
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*Conditions Apply.
Excluding All Taxes.

FARAZ to RAAZ Ek sawal ka jawab do..

WO KON C UNGLI HAI JIS MAI HADDI NAHI HOTI???

RAAZ-Pata nahi??
FARAZ-DASTANYE KI.

Budha 1 Ladki Se Tkrya
Budha:-Sorry
Grl:-Stupid
Tabi 1 Ladka us Se Tkrya
Ladka:-Sorry
Grl:-It's Ok
Budha:-Meri Sorry Ki Speling Glat Thi Kya

Santa ka bacha-Teri MAA itni moti he
k sab usko TRUCK kehte he

Banta ka bacha: Teri MAA moti nai he
isliye sab log use cycle cycle kehte he

PATI-Tum Aisi Roti Nai Paka Sakti
Jesi meri Ammi Pakati Thi
BV-Paka Sakti Hu
Agar Tum B Aisa Aata Goondho
Jesa Tumhare Abbu Goondha Karte The

BV-Maine "GADHO" Par Research Ki He
Wo Apni "GADHI" k siwa kisi or "GADHI" ko Dekhta Tak Nai

Pati-IsiLiye To Use "GADHA" Kehte Hai

RAAZ Dr. ne kha he k muje blood pressure he
Jiski vaja se muje hert attack b ho sakta hy
FARAZ-Nhi aa skta.
R-Q.
F-Q..ki Ap Pathar dil he

GOLU SCHEME Wali Bottle ka Dhakan

Baar Baar Khol K Dekh Raha Tha

MOLU- Kya Hua?

GOLU-Dhakkan Me Likha Hai "Try Again." :-)

Ye Zaruri To Nai K Aag Se Jal Jye Insan

Kuch Log To Muje Dekh K Bhi Jal Jate He
He He

Samajne ki kosish kro muje tang N kro
Akela chor do
Rat tmhari waja se so nhi ska
Mat khelo mri zindgi se

GOLU hath jor k machar se kh rha tha

Q-Cyclone kise kahte hai

Santa- CyCle Kharidane k Liye Jo Loan Lete ha
use Cyclone kahte hai

10thClass Student:- I want to Fail in 10th.

Friend:-Dad said If I got 80+ than Science
if less than than Arts
If I fail than I hv to "Marry"

Ek KhubSurat Ladki Ko kaise Patya jata hai?

Ans:-

Sudar ja Yaar

Itni Interset apni Padai me deta to top krta.

Fasane se na fase Aisi Koi Ladki nahi

fasane Se na fase Aisi Koi ladki nahi

agar Fir b na fase to is duniya me
ladkiyo ki koi Kami nahi

Mohabbat
ISHQ
Pyar

ye 3 Cheeze Har Tufaan ka Muqabla KR sakti hai
Magar Ek Cheez in Sab Ko Khatam Kar sakti hai
Aur Vo hai
Mummy Ki Chappal.

Santa: yaar I m Notice a very Impotant thing
Banta:- Wht is dis?
Santa: Jab railways Fatak Bhand hota hai

Tab

Tab

Tain Jarur aati ha

Teacher:- MotorCycle k Kitne Tyers Hote hai?
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre
Teacher(Gusse se): How?
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle k!

Saal Bhar Padhai Hm kiya nhi krte
Lekin Cheating Kr k Paper hm Likha nhi krte
Ae University waloPass krna h to kro
Fokat me Hm zyada Likha nhi krte

KanJoos Ashiq
Kr Diya Izhare-Ishq Hamne Mobile par
Lakh Rupaye Ki Baat thi
Do Rupaye Me Hi Ho Gayi

Santa Haircutting k kitne lete ho?
Banta Barber:- Rs 30
Santa:- Shaving ke?
Banta:- Rs10
Santa:- Shave My Head

Kid: I want To marry my Grandma!!!
Dad: What You Want to marry My Mom
Stupid!
Kid:- Why not ? You have married mine

Pappu-dada ji kya aap badaam khate he?
Dadaji-nahi, mere to daant hi nahi hain
Pappu-fir thik hai, ise aap rakhiye, mai school se aakar le lunga..

Santa: Tumhe pata hai Mere papa ek ungli se 8logo Ko Utha sakte hai
Banta:wow! Wo kaise?
santa: Qki Mere papa Lift Operator hai.

I never forget my friends
when I see some faults in them
I keep patient and just realize that

"Ab har koi meri tarha pearfect to nahi ho sakta na"

Santa> What is deffirent between COFFY shop & WINE shop
Banta> coffy shop is the starting point of LOVE and wine shop is last point of LOVE
:-)

Be Happy Today Just Enjoy today
Freak Out Today Live frely today
Have Fun today
bcoz Who Knows

You Might Fall in Love 2mrow?
U loose al these.

After Almost 20 years Amitabh Can Finally Anwer Shashi Kapoor
"Agar Tumhare Pass 'Maa' hai toh Mere Pass 'PAA' hai

Banta-Mai gali se jab guzarta hu to KUTTE mujhse dar k
bhag jate he

Santa-Apne BOSS se to har koi darta he

-PJ-
BRUCE LEE was a great Man!
Bt after his Sister gav birth 2 a Child, he bcame an Ordinary Person!

Y?

.

.

Bcz he bcame
"MAMU-LEE"

Thief1:
Lets Count
d Money We hav
Looted Today!

Thief2:
I m So Tired,
We'll See it in d
Newspaper Tomorrow.

Doctor To a Kid-Hav U ever had trouble with "Appendicitis"
-
Kid-Yes!
-
Doctor-When?
-
Kid-When I tried to Spell it!

SANTA-Mai aur Meri Wife 20 Saal se Khush the

BANTA-Fir Kya hua?

.

.

.

BANTA: Batao Na Yaar!

SANTA: Fir Kya!
Ek din Hum mil gaye..

Koi b
Kuch b
Khane ko de

Mat Khana PLZ

Idhar-Udhar Nigah rakna

Kyuki

Goverment ne Kutta mar muhim Start ki hai

Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai.

Ek Chuhey Ne Ek Pura Suit Kutr K Kha Liya Magar Wo Fir b Bhukh Se Mar gya

Kyuki

Wo Suit

MaLLika Shearwat
Ka tha...

How BEDROOM Smells Aftr MARRIAGE

1st 3MONTHS-Perfumes,
Flowers,

After 1-3YEARS-Baby Powdr,
Cream,
Lotions,

After 10-13
YEARS-Vicks,Zandu Balm..

Na Jane Kis Baat Pe Tumne Muje Chhod Diya

Tumne to 50 Paise K Liye Bhikhari Ka Dur Tk Pichha Kiya Tha

1- Khubsurti

1- Taazgi

1- Dosti

1- Narazgi

1- Sapna

1- Rishta

1- Pyas

KUCH

DUR

KUCH PASS

KUCH LOG
BAHUT KHAS

Jaise

. " A A P ".

Milo K Faslo Me B Duri Na Ho
Baat Na Ho Aisi Majburi Na Ho
Humari Tamanna He Ki Dosti Rahe Umar Bhar
Ap Dua Karna Humari Ye Dua Adhuri Na Ho

MOHABBAT K SARE RANG
RANGO K SARE PHUL
PHULO KI SARI KHUSHBU
KHUSHBU K SARE LAMHE
LAMHO KI SARI CHAHAT
CHAHAT KI SARI KHUSHIYA

AAP K LIYE.

Jaise ANKHO Ko Mohabbat Khwabo Se
Thik WAISE Hi
Khwbo Ko MOHABBAT Raato Se
AUR
Dil Ko Mohabbat DILBAR Se
Muje Aisi MOHABBAT H Tumse

Ye Kaun MUSKURA Kr Idhar Se Guzar Gya
BeNoor Rasto Me UJALA Bikhar Gya
Socha Bahut Kisi s PYAR N ho
Magar
Anko Ki Rah Se Koi DILME Utar Gya

Apki TASVIRO Ko Hum Ulat Palat Kar Dekhte Rahe
Din Raat Apke KHYALO Me Ulze Rahe
Malum Tha AAP Humse Dur H
Firbi Apko Aas Pas KHOJTE Rahe

Ticket Chacker-Amma Kiraya Pura do
Amma-Mai student hu

TC-Konse school me?
Amma-Wo q batau

TC-Muje apni DAADI ka admission karana hai

Boy-Agr mai kahu muje tumse Mohabat he
meri yhi chahat he to kya kahogi

Girl-Yhi baat agr tum Balance Bhej k kehty to acha hota

Santa-Maine Tumhara No. Kitni Baar Try Kiya
But Tumhara Mobile "SWITCH OFF" Tha
Banta-Abe Wo Meri "HELLO TUNES" Hai