Valentine Jokes Wishes and Status Messages

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. 'Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish,' he asks, 'will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?'

David's father thinks a bit, then says 'No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?' 'Osama Bin Laden,' David says. 'Why Osama Bin Laden,' his father asks in shock. 'Well,' David says, 'I thought that if a litt

Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.

Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.

Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.

Girl: 'I can't be your valentine for medical reasons.'
Boy: 'Really?' Girl: 'Yeah, you make me sick!'

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You're quite a catch! But don't feel too bad even good offers sometimes have a catch!

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head.

Words fail me! Great body, sharp mind, sexy voice and they're just a few of my good points! Happy Valentine's!

I said to you, 'Oh, please be mine; Be mine forever, Valentine.' I must have seemed like quite a fool, Although I thought I was being cool. I swore that we would never part, As I put my hand upon my heart. Had I been thinking with my head, I'd probably have fled instead.

Brand new mop and bucket. I was thinking it would be fun to see what colour the floor was because I couldn't remember.

What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean? One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.

I found a card for you in time, I really did. And it said exactly how I feel about you. But it was so mushy the envelope went all soggy!

'My dog eats garlic.' 'Really?' 'Yes. His bark is much worse than his bite.'