Bollywood Jokes Wishes and Status Messages

Jab Gabber paida hua to uski maan ne usse 3-4 thappad lagaye.

Gabber’s Father: Kya baat ho gayi?

Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha Kitne Aadmi the…

Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?
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1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam

2. kaho naa bukhar hai

3. TB no 1

4. Kal patient ho na ho

5. Hum blood de chuke sanam

John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he

had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.

Looking up toward heaven, he said 'Lord, take pity on me.

If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the

rest of my life and give up tequila.'

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

John looked up again and said,

'Never mind. I found one.'

Bhakt : Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.
Bhagwan : Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.
Bhakt : Koi upay bhagvan
Bhagvan : Mallika Sherawat.

Aamir Khan Ki Film 3 Idiots Double Business Karti Agar Kareena Kapoor Bhi Ek Bar Kehti- Jahan Panah Tussi Great Ho, Tohfa Qabool Karo.

Beti: Ma dekho Bollywood waale. Ma: Andar aa jaa, inki neeyat bahut kharab hoti hai. Beti: Ma Imran Hashmi Bhi aaya hai. Ma: Phir To Bakri Ko Bhi Andar Le Aa.

Kutte Ko Murgi Se Pyar Tha. Usne Murgi Se Shaadi Ki. Kuch Dino Baad Murgi Ne Khargosh Ko Janam Diya. Kutta: Ye Sab Kya Hai? Murgi: AJAB PREM KI GHAZAB KAHANI.

TV Quiz Program Host: Should A Woman Have Children After 35? Rakhi Swant: No, I Think 35 Children Are Enough.

Journalist To Rakhi: What Type Of Roles do you Like? Rakhi: Waise toh I like Egg roll par kabhi kabhi veg roll bhi kha leti hoon.

Feroz Khan as Don: Mere Sar Par Baal Aane Ka Intezaar To 11 Mulkon Ke Naayi Kar Rahe Hain, Par Mere Sar Par Baal Aana Mushkil Hi Nahi Namumkin Hai.

Jeet Chuke Hum Har Jung, Ab Yeh Baazi Bhi Hamari Hai. Bahut Zaleel Ho Chuke Sardar Aur Santa Banta, Ab toh drama queen Rakhi Sawant Ki Baari Hai.

Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter….
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.

Shahrukh Khan Ke Ghar Ka Fan Bahut Slow Hai. Guess Why? Kyunki usse HAULE HAULE SE HAWA CHALTI HAI NA!

KBC mein Amit jee ne mujhese poocha: Bataao Aisa Kaun Hai Jo 30 Din Mein Ek Hi Baar Nahata Hai? Kasam Se 5 Crore Thukra Diye Magar Aap Ka Naam Nahi Bataya.

Song From Movie Machis. Chunni Leke Soti Thi Kamaal Lagti Thi. Lo Karlo Baat, Sirf Chunni Leke Soyegi Toh Kamaal Hi Lagegi Na.

Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe, Wo Teri Yaad Mein, Wo Saare Padh Liye, Papa Ne Raat Mein. Sawera Jab Hua Toh Joote Pad Gaye, Wo Raadhe Waale Baal Ghajini Mein Badal Gaye.

What is similar between students preparing for exams and aamir in movie Ghajini? Both Cant Remember Anything After Fifteen Minutes.

Meri Aur Katrina Ki Ek Aadat Bilkul Same Hai. Guess What? Na Main Usey SMS Karta Hoon, Na Wo Mujhe SMS Karti Hai. Attitude You Know!

Amir Khan Ki Har Film Mein Koi Na Koi Message Hota Hai Par Ghajini Dekh Ke Aap Ko Kya Message Milta Hai? Simple! Ganja Bhi Maang Nikal Sakta Hai.

Dad Caught His Son Watching Sheela Ki Jawani Song. Dad: Padhaai kar Le Beta. Sheela Toh Exams Ke Baad Bhi Jawan Rahegi.

Teacher: Aapko Amir Khan Aur Kajol Ki Movie FANAA Se Kya Lesson Mila? Student: Andhi, Looli, Langdi Jo Bhi Mile Patalo.

Who was the 1st Indian Crickter to become Captain in his 1st Match, Score 100 In the Match & Hit sixer on the Last Ball to Defeat England? AAMIR KHAN In LAGAAN.

Hrithik Roshan: Aaj Mere Paas 14 Cars Hai, 8 Bikes Hai, 4 Bunglow Hai, 2 Farmhouse Hai. Tumhare Paas Kya Hai? Abhisek Bacchan: Mere Baap Ke Sar Par Bal Hai.

Himesh Reshamiya Ka Kutta Bhaag Gaya. Doosre Kutton Ne Pocha: Tu Kyun Bhaag Aaya? Usne Kaha Kya Batau Yaaro. Raat Ko Gata Tha Wo Aur Subah Maar Mujhe Padti Thi.

Jay: Maa kehti hai Raavan film ka gaana nahi sunna. Vijay: Kaunsa? Jay: Behne de mujhe behne de. Jay: Kyun? Vijay: Kyunki Abishek meri behene maang raha hai.

Dabang SMS! Agar Tumne Hume SMS Nahi Kiya Toh Tumhare Mobile Mein Hum Itne Chhed Karenge Ki Confuje Ho Jaaoge Ki Charger Kaha Lagaye Aur Earphone Kaha Lagaye.

Tera Tera Tera Surror, Insano Mein Hai Ek Langoor, Naam Hai Unka Himesh Reshmiya Hujoor!

Imran Hashmi Ne Pehle Apni Girlfriend Ko Aashiq Banaya. Fir Choclate Mein Zeher Milaake Murder Kar Diya Aur Kaha Kalyug Mein Aksar Aisa Hi Hota Hai.

50 Meel Dur Jab Koi Bachha Oon-Oon Karke Rota Hai Toh Ma Kehti He Ki Beta Aise Mat Ro Varna Bada Hokar Tu Himesh Reshamiya Ban Jayega.

Teacher: Us Bomb Ka Naam Bataiye Jo Pakistan Ne India Par Phenka Tha Aur India Ne Usey Pencil Ki Tarha Bana Diya? Students: Adnan SAMI