hemant_jain14's Quote Collection

Teacher- Apko Shahrukh Khan Ki Movie RAB NE BANA DI JODI Se Kya Lesson Mila?
Student- Ummeed Mat Haro, Shadi Ke Baad Bhi Ladki Pat Sakti He

Girl: Excuse Me sir, Kya Aap Mere Chehre se 1 chiz hata sakte he?
Man (Khush Hoke): Haan, Zara Boliye To?
Girl: Apni nazar hata lijiye

Bhoot Ne Tapasya Ki. God Khush Hoke Bole- Vardan Maang
Bhoot: Muze Khubsurat Ladkiyon Ka Khoon Chusna He.
God: Tathastu, Ja Whisper Ban ja.

Antar-Mantar
Jaadu-Jantar
Chhhoo.
Kuch Mahsoos Hua?
Nahi Na?
Jaadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Kaha Tha Ki
ye mantra sirf insaano pe asar karta he.

Old man to Class teacher-
Sir, BUNTY ko Bula do.
Sir- Aap kaun?
Old man- Main Uska Dada.
Sir- Wo Chhutti Lekar Aapki MAYYAT me Gaya hai.

Teri surat pe dil vaaru
.
wah wah
Teri surat pe dil vaaru

wah wah
Jis din tera phone ya sms na aaye, us din teri kanpatti pe 2 maaru.

Beta: Papa, Log chand pe gaye, hum suraj pe jayenge.
Papa: Suraj ki garmi se hum jal jayenge.
Beta: Koi baat nahi, hum raat mein jayenge.

Ramu- In aalu ke paraathon me aalu nazar nahi aa rahe he!!
Shyamu- Yaar naam par mat ja, Kashmiri pulav me kabhi kashmir nazar aata he kya?

Santa 5 minute me paper dekar exam hall se bahar aa gaya.
Sir: Paper nahi aata tha kya?
Santa: Actually wo agle paper ki taiyari karni he.

Teacher- Agar Main Teri Maa Hoti To Main Tuze 2 Dino Me Sudhaar Deti.
Student- Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Se Baat Karke Apko Bata Dunga.

A new teacher joins school. He find 2 boys similar in appearance.
Teacher: Kya tum dono judwa ho?
Boys: Nahi, Hum dono padosi hai.

Sardi Ho Gayi He?
-Ha
Naak Bhi Band He?
-Ha
Sir Bhi Fat Raha He?
-Ha Bhai Ha
To Ye Msg Padhna Kya Zaruri Tha?
Jao, Dawa Lo Aur So jao

Hum Dushmano Ko Bahut Buri Saza Dete He

Wah Wah

Hum Dushmano Ko Bahut Buri Saza Dete He
Juta Nahi Maarte, Bus Moza Sungha Dete Hai.

AGE 0F DRINKS
1 To 3: Milk
3 To 8: Cerelac
9 To 13: Complan
14 To 25: Beer
26 To 50: Whisky
51 To 60: Tonic
AFTER 60 AnyTime GANGAJAL

Man- Tu meri beti ko kabse pyar karta he?
Boy- 4 mahine se.
Man- Main kese Yakin Karu?
Boy- Aur 5 mahine Rukiye, Yakin Apne Aap Ho Jayega

Wo Konsi 1 Baat he Jo Saalo Pahle bhi Students Kahte The, Aaj Bhi Kahte He Aur Qayamat Tak Kahenge?
Ans- Bas Yar Kal Se Padhai Start Karege

Customer: Main kabse wait kar raha hu, khana abhi tak taiyar nahi hua?
Waiter: Sir khana to 3 din pahle se taiyar he, bas garam ho raha he.

HEIGHT OF Bindasness:
Entering late in the Class without permision & saying to Mam-
.
.
.
.
HEY SWEETIE,
CARRY ON. DON'T STOP FOR ME

Apki surat mere dil me aise bas gayi,
.
.
.
Apki surat mere dil me aise bas gayi,
.
.
.
Jaise chhote se darwaje me bhains fas gayi..

Employee: Aap meri salary badha djiye, meri shadi ho gayi he.
Boss: Factory ke bahar hone wali durghatna ke liye factory jimmedar nahi hoti