MAD's Quote Collection

Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't have any more work.

Santa: That's all right, sir. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't ask you to give me work anyway!!

Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."

Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ?

Santa: My wife’s first husband.

Ik husband apni wife ke kirya kram (cremation) kar ke ghar lot raha tha.

Tabhi asman me jor se bijli chamki aur badal garje.

Husband bola: Lagta hai pohonch gayi.

Na chaho kisiko itna ki uski chahat tumhari majboori ban jaye. Chaho kisi ko itna ke tumhara pyar uski ZAROORAT ban jaye!

U promsd 2 tke cre of me bt u hrt me,
U promsd me 2 brng me joy bt u brought me tears,
U promsd me ur Luv bt u gave me PAIN... ME?
I promsd u Nothing but I gave u Everything!

My uncle lost his dog last week.
I said why don''t you put an advertisement in newspaper?
Uncle replied: Don't be silly, my dog can't read newspaper..

Neighbor: I noticed that your daughter is mostly in the kitchen.
Probably she loves cooking so many varieties.
Her little brother instantly replied: NO, actually our telephone connection is in the kitchen.

what did a handsome do say to a beautiful bitch on a candle light dinner
near romantic river in the open moonlight.
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"BHOW BHOW"
what else it can say!!!

Bus conductor: Why are taking two tickets?
Passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
Conductor: what if you lose both?
Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool. I already have my Pass with me.!!!