Akshay's Quote Collection

Dhoop chamakti hai barsat k baad,
Kuch muskura lena meri yaad k baad,
Koi shikwa na rahe aaj k baad,
Allah kush rakhe aap ko meri dua k baad

Father: shaadi bachon ka khel nahi
Son: haan pata hai mujhe,
Father: kiya pata hai?
Son: yahi k shadi badon ka khel hai
jo bachon k liye khela jata hai

ek pathan k janaze main log bhangra daal rahe tahe.
wajha pochi to ek pathan ne bataya k
pehli dafa hum main se koi
Brain Hambrige se mara hai

Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.
ek admi ne pocha kya hua?
Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka opreation
karwane aata hai aur baal katwa k chala ata hai.

pathan girl friend ko ghar le gaya,
sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,
parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha
dekho humara watch main light jalta hai.

ek murgi ne 3 ande diye aur dua ki ya Allah
mere bache naik niklain
to pehle andey main se bacha namaz parhta hua nikla,
dosra bacha tasbih parhta hua nikla,
tesra nahi nikla to murgi pareshan hogai
aur us ne bache ko awaz di to anday main se awaz aai
k main etqaf main betha hoon.

teacher: boys aap ko aamir khan aur kajol ki film
fana se kiya lesson mila?
student: andhi, kani, langri, jo bhi mile,
phansa leni chahye.

wife: bas karo kitna karoge? raat se kar rahe ho.
thaky nahi abhi tak?
husband: raat se kar raha hoon to kiya hua
aaj to main pora din karonga.
SMS itne saste jo hogaye hain.

Difference between dawa and daru.
Dawa is like a girlfriend. it has expiry date and
Daru is like a "wife" jitni purani hogi utni sar ko charti hai.

ek pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar le gaye,
sab ne kaha daku khatarnak hain khali haath mat jana
behan ko bachane.
Pathan 2 kilo mithayi le gaya. p

A woman at an embroidery shop: yahan gale milte hain?
Sales man: milte to nahi hain magar aap kahte hain to mil lete hain:

Boy : I love u.
Girl : Me too
Boy : How much do u love me?
Girl : as much as u do.
Boy : U Cheater.
I thought u really loved me

Pathan : meri oulaad nahi hoti.
Dost: aap mazar par dua karo.
Next Year
Dost: kiya hua?
Pathan: Kuch nahi,
Dost: koun se mazar par dua ki thi?
Pathan: Quaid-e-Azam k mazar pe.:

Sheikh ka beta girl friend k sath ghoom k ghar aya
to baap ne pocha, kitnay paisay kharch kiye?
Beta : 50 rupye.
Baap : itnay saray?
Beta : Abba us k pass 50 he tahe.

Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.
janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?
Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.
Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.
Husband : peche line main lago. :

Man : my wife is too good.
She can talk on any subject for hours.
Friend : Ahh!!! my wife is better,
She does not even need a subject to talk about.

Q: what is the difference between hockey and cricket?
Ans: hockey main team 1.5 hours main zaleel hoti hai
aur cricket main 8 ghante main :

Ek admi chupkay se jahanum se nikala aur jannat main
chala gaya. Frishtay ne pakar kar khob mara.
Maar khanay k baad admi utha, kapray jharray aur bola:
Tumhari in he harkaton ki wajha se koi jannat main nahi ata.

Lady to Doctor: mera beta motar cycle se gir gaya hai.
Doctor: I can't understand please speak in English.
Lady: my londa is gironda from HERO HONDA. :P

Son: Abba idher aa
Mother: Aise nahi boltey beta,
daddy ko izat k saath bulate hain,
Son: Abba izzat k saath idher aaja.