Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 90

Old people used to annoy me at weddings, pinching my cheeks saying you are next. They stopped that when I started doing the same to them at Funerals!!!

Shhhh. Dont go outside. Even dont talk loudly for the next one hour, please I am again warning you please and dont be so loud .. The dog catching van is on duty!!!

Tip to reduce consumption of alcohol : Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r HAPPY..!!

I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I''ll kill you for nothing

Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties!

A tactful wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband cant afford another woman. . .

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

Next generation Child will sing in school: Twinkle twinkle little star, I just went to royal bar, Whisky rates are up so high, So drink beer with chicken fry.

Love is like programming; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

When words fails, Eyes works. When eyes fails, heart works. When heart fails... To kya? Samajh le Tapak gaya!

1 drunk asked the other:What a beautiful night,look at the moon.Other drunk: U are wrong,thats not the moon,that s the sun.Both started arguing for a while when they saw another drunk walking; they stopped him,Sir,pls help settle our argument?Tell us what is that up in the sky that s shining.Is it the moon or the sun?3rd man looked at the sky and said,Sorry, I dont live around here.

Patni=Suno ji, doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ke aaram ke liye kisi Hill station par jane ko kaha hai,hum kaha jayenge? Pati=Dusre Dr. ke Paas..

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which anser the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Whats the difference between Data and Information? 362436 - Data 36-24-36 Information! ..

Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,while soap in ur eyes.Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.Its only 4 those who take bath everyday…

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HOW I WONDER WHAT U ARE IF U KNOW WHAT U R THEN MENTAL HOSPITAL IS NOT SO FAR

Its RAININ these days & m sure u must b vry happy. U mst b feelin lik go out, drench urself,sing songs, splash watr & hav fun. Rite? EvRy Frog feels d same!!

The day you were born, God created BPL Believe in the Best, and the day I was born, God created Sansui Better than the Beat.

A mobile is like women - Talks non-stop, costs a fortune, disturbs when u r busy and when u need them urgently they have no service.

Be careful when a gal tells u that she loves u from the bottom of her heart. For this may mean that there is still enough space for another boy on top!

If ur world is spinning round & round... ur heart is beating fast....... Do u think its LOVE ? na munna ,its called...........?? high B.P........!!!!

Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.

Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA Phir likha: SHUBH LABH Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN

The most effective way to remember your wife''s birthday is to forget it once.

There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."

Some One Is Loving you; Caring for you; Watching over you; Protecting you Guess Who? Neighbour''s Dog

Door rehkar bhi dil ke paas lagte ho, nazron se door rehkar khaas lagte ho, har baar doosron ka bheja SMS bhejkar khud ko smart samajhte ho!!!

Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven''t slept yet.

Hai tu agar mera dilbar, Hai tu agar mera dilbar, To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar