Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 94

Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more

Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
Bush: Wow! Howc many?
Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut

Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why?
Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC

Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!

A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...
Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat

Teri Maa Di,
Tere Peo Di,
Teri Behan Di,
Tere Bhra Di,
Teri Bhabi Di,
Tere Pure Khandan Di,
Te Meri v Tu Jaan Hai

Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b''coz AC doesn''t work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai

Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA
But girraffe was not eating. Why?
Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND

Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya

Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do

Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di

1980 girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!

Astrologer: U''ll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u.
Frog: When n where?
Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab

Thought for the future generation: Don''t marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.

Khuda bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se... par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se...

A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
French: Toilette pepper!

Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe.
Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai.

An old to Doc: Doc, I think I''m getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That''s not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.

Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don''t exist.

Jodhpur jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000 pants for inmates. Guess y this odd combination?
Salman Khan is coming

A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you''re asleep, he stops."

At a Rly stn a gal cheked her weight-58 kg
She removed sandal-56 kg
Then removed jacket-53kg
Then dupatta-52 kg
Coins khatam.
A baba in q behind her said- Beebe tu kam chaalu rakh, bhaan batheri hai babay kol

Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom-rom machal jata hai, sara badan kaamp jata hai, dil main gudgudi si hoti hai. Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai

Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte

Girl''s excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear

What''s the definition of a skeleton?
A striptease that went just too far...

In French: Bon jour
In Spanish: Te Quiro
In Italian: Teamo
In Yugoslav: Volim Te
In English: Good Morning
In Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana?

Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: Because they need a map.

I''d climb the highest mountain. I''d swim the ocean blue, I''d do anything my dear- Just to get away from you