Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 18

Santa apni biwi ko maar raha tha..
ek admi ne pucha kyu maar rahe ho ??

Santa : Docter ne kaha hai, isko dawai koot ke deni hai

1st Saheli-Tumne Ab Tak Shaadi Kyu Nai Ki
2nd-Shaadi To Karna Chahti hu But Manpasnd Pati Nai Mila
1st-Mai Shadi Suda hu Or mera b yahi prblm he

PATI:Kaash main GANPATI hota tum 111- din tak meri puja karti Modak, Ladoo khilati....

PATNI:Haan kaash aisa hota fir har saal Visarjan ke saal NAYA pati lati.

Santa Ne Amrud Liye to Usme Kida Nikla
Santa: Isme to Kida Nikla hai

Amrudwala: Ye Kismat ki Baat hai Kya Pata Agli Baar Motorcycle Nikal Jaye,

Santa kangal hone par biwi se
bola: Tum bacho ko
nani ke yaha bhej do..
Aur
Tum apni maa k
pass chali jao
Mera kya hai
Main sasural chala
jaunga

2 Nalayak Exam ke baad:
1st:
Ye paper konsa tha?
2nd:
Maths ka
1st:
Mtlb tu paper kr k aaya hai?
2nd:
Nai yaar! Sath wali ladki k paas Calculator dekha tha

Santa- Yar murgi k baccha anda todkar bahar kaise aa jate hain? Banta-Mujhe to ye samjh mein nahi aata saale band ande me ghus kaise jate hai.

Teacher:-Batao Mahatma Gandhi kaha paida huye, aur unhone talim kaha hasil ki?
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Papu:-Ji wo hospital mein paida huye aur school mein talim hasil ki.

Ek Bus Neher Me Gir Gayi

Police-Bus Kaise Giri
Driver-Muje Nai Pata

POLICE-Kya
Driver-Wo Aaj Helper Nai Aya
To Me Peche Kiraya Lene Gya Hua Tha

Santa:-Socha tumhe call kar loo, tum mujhe miss kar rahi hogi.
Jito:-Aur wo jo mujhse 5 minute pehle lad ke gaye they uska kya?
Santa:-Oh....phir ghar ka no. lag gaya.

Raman Exhibition Dekh Raha Tha, Usne Ruk Kar Sanchalak Se Kaha: Kya Ise Modern Art Kehte Hai? Sanchalak: Ji Nahi, Ise Hum Aaina Kahte Hain.

train ke toilet me likha tha dunia chand par pahuch gayi h or tum yahi baithe ho, santa us ke niche likh kar aaya bas dho kar ja raha hoo

WIFE:jab aap chasma utarte ho to bahut handsome lagte ho
HUSBAND:jb mein chasma utarta hoon to tum bhi bhahut khoobsoorat lagti ho!

Jethala-Aare Daya Raat ko mobile charging me mat rakho,blast ho jayaga,

Daya-Tapu ke papa aap tension mat lijiye maine battery nikal di he.

PATNI: Sunte ho
padoswale Guptaji ki beti ko Maths mein 99 marks mile hain.
PATI: Are wah, phir 1 number kahan gaya?
PATNI: Woh humara beta laya hai!!

Santa news paper padh raha tha.
Banta-koi nayi khabar he kya?
Santa-ye kya,U.P. ko 4 hisso me kar diya jayega.
Banta-jis ghar me aurat ki chalti he,yahi hota hai

1st Boy:
Yaar main aisa kya karu k Teri Shaadi k baad me Teri Biwi ko Film Dikhane le jau aur Tujhe Bura b na lge.??

2nd Boy:
Meri Shadi Apni Behen se kra d..

salman khan-he bhagwan, mujhe itna smart kyon banaya, jab dekho ladkiyan paresan krti hain
bhagwan-jab tu itna paresan hai to jra soch vivek kitna paresan hoga

BANTA Ne HAJAMAT Ki Dukan Kholi..
Santa SHAVE Karane Aya.
Banta:- Muchh Rakhni Hai
SAnta-Ha
Banta(Mucch Kaat Ke)-Le Rakh Le, Jahan Rakhni Hai.

Judge: Kya tum kabhi jail gaye ho?
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Mujrim ( Rote Hue ) : Nahin sahab
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Judge: Rote kyu ho , ab chale jao

Pati: Tumhe Bhagvaan Ne Khubsurti Aur Bevkufi Sath Kyo Di? Patni: Taki Tum Shadi Ka Paigam Do Aur Mai Use Manzur Kar Lu

2 cockroach ICU Me ek dusre ke bagal me admit the..

1st- Kisne maara?

2nd- Arey koi ni, ek ladki mujhe dekh k itna chillayi ke heart attack aa gya.....

Gabbar:are oh sambha ye kon log he jo sms ka javab nahi dete.
sambha:sardar ye log to miss call karne ke bad b ballance chek karte he.

santa : oye humne chokidar ko nikal diya
banta : kyu?
santa : sala chokidar wo tha aur rat hum pe chillata " Jagte Raho"

Prito: Mere hont bahut phat gaye hai, kuch lagane ke liye la dena

Santa: lo tumhare phate hoton ko jorane ke liye Fevicoal laya hun

Dad- Whos this girl ??

Boy- ohh she, My girlfriend
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next day




Dad- now whos this "new" girl?

Boy-Rishta wohi Item Nayee.....

4 shraabi 1 janaze ko uthakr jaldi jaldi kabro k upr se ja rahe the,
Kisi ne kha-"Oye sharm kro niche Murde h"
SHRABI-To upr konsa humne WORLD CUP utha rkha h.!

2 dost ek hi exm me 2 ri bar fail ho gaye

1 dost- chal yaar suicide karte hai,

2 dost- abe pagla gaya h kya agle janam fir "jr.KG" se shuru karna padega.....

Santa bank gaya, wanha likha tha sone par loan milata hai.

Santa wanhi so gaya aur pucha 1 raat sone par kitna loan milega

Santa: Sote waqt scale lekar soya
Banta:Tum scale kyon lekar soye
Santa: me dekhna chaahat hu ki mein kitna lamba sota hun