Hindi Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 17

jyotish - tumhari jindagi me14 ladkiya ayengi.
boy-oh yes,ye hui na baat.""what a life""
jyotish -jyada khush mtho bete ek patni or 13 betiya hongi....

Father: Exam me kitne no. aaye
Santa: 1 nahi aaya, baaki pure aaye hai
Father: Saabas, 99 no laya hai mera beta
Santa: Nahi maine kaha 100 me se 1 nahi aaya, 00 aaye hai

Circuit: Bhai america mein address puchega tho kya bolne ka
Munna: Dhobhi Ghaat
Circuit: Bhai english mein bolneka tho?
Munna: Washington

Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.

Ek ladki ne chote bache k gaal pe kiss ki.Girl-oh sorry tumare gaal pe lipstick lag gyi.Baby kuch achcha karne se agar daag lagte he to daag achche hain.

RAKHI SAWANT Train me!
TC- Ticket?
Rakhi-Mera to Chehra hi Ticket hai.
TC- Jurmana lgega!
Rakhi-Q?
TC- Qki Tum 1st CLASS me baithi ho & Chehra 3rd CLASS ka hai.

2Machr Bate Kr Rhe The
1st Bola-Mai Docter Bnuga.

2ndBola-Main Engineer Bnuga.
Itne Me Aunti Ne MoRtIN Jla Di.
Mchr Bole-Sali Ne pura Career Khrab Kr Diya.

Sharabi hawa me COIN uchaalkar bola:
Heads Aaya to WHISKEY, Tails aaya to VODKA.
Zamin par Khada raha to RUM,
Aur
hawa me raha to Aaj se DARU BAND;

Ek Larka Ghar Dair Say Lauta.

Maa:
Kahan Thay?

Beta:
Emotional film
Dekhnay Gaya Tha
'MAA kA PYAR'.
.
Maa:
Ab ander Ja kay Action Film Dekh..
'BAAP ki MAAR

2 boys were talking:
1st: Tu bohot accha swimming karta he
kaha pe sikha
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2nd Boy:
.

"Pani me

Jailer-Suna he tum shayar ho..Kuchh sunao yaar
Qaidi-"Gum-e-Ulfatme jo zindgi kat ti Hmari
Jis Din zamanat hui us din zndagi khatam Tumhari.

Santa: waiter, ek coffee laana. kitna hai?
Waiter: 50 Rs.
Santa: saamnewaali dukhaan main to 50 ps hai
Waiter: woh xerox dukhaan hai sir

Papu- Papa Good News H.
Snta- Kya?
Papu- Apko Yad H Apne Kha Tha K Agr Mai Exam Me Pas Ho Jaun To Muje 5000 Denge. Snta- Han.
Papu- Apke 5000 Bch Gye!.

Boy-Cn i Hold ur Hand?
Grl-No!
Boy-Y?
Gal-cz it Hurts whn u Leave it.

Boy-Ma kasam,
Humari Acting!
To Ladkiyo ki Over Acting

Dr.-Aapki Biwi Ab Sirf 2 Dino Ki Mehman Hai, I Am So Sorry!

Santa- Sorry Ki Koi Baat Nahi Hai Dr. Saab, Jab 20 Saal Nikal Gaye to 2 Din Bhi Nikal Hi Jayenge..!

ek tiger ne zoo me santa ko maar diya bandar ne pucha-tune itni bheed me sirf use hi kyo mara?

tiger:-are yar sala kb se keh rha tha"ENNI WADDI BILLI"....

cycle wale ne 1 Aadmi ko takkar mar di.
Aur bola-Aap bahut lucky ho
Aadmi- kaise
Cycle wala- Aaj meri chutti hai
NAHI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA HU

SANTA KA NAYA GAS CYLINDER 6 SECOUND ME HI PURA HO GAYA.
KAISE?
Q KI SANTA NE GAS CYLINDER K PAAS ENO RAKHA THA, SIRF 6 SECOND ME KAM SHURU ;) HI HI HI

Husband 2 wife~
"na kajre ki dhar,
na motio k haar.
na koi kiya singar,
phir b kitni sundar ho."
Wife~
oye, saaf-2 bol na ki
"make-up k liye paise ni dunga":-)

Santa Banta ki khub pitai huyi.
Par Q?
Qki
Dono B'Day party
me muft ka khana
khate pakde Gye
aur
kehne lage:Hum
Ladki walo k taraf-
se hai

Mazak ki bhi ek Hadd hoti hai YAAR

Main Ladki ke sath date maar raha tha aur mera dost uske samne aakar bola:
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.
.
"kal wali Zyada achi thi"...

Santa gets a msg-
"kya aap Anna Hazaare ke saath hai?"
Santa replies
"Nahi main taan ghare haan...kuch kamm si??"

Teacher : Repeat the sentence
"Delhi me Qutub Minar Hai.."
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Student (in a sleepy tone) :
"Dubai mein Kutta beemar Hai....

Camera man studio mein chote bacche se:
Meri taraf dekho beta, is camera se kabutar niklega.
Baccha-
Focus adjust kar,
gawaron wali batein na kar,FB par lagani hai pic..:p

Santa- oye yaar! Tu mujhe sms 2-2 baar kyu bhejta hai..?
Banta- oye! Ek sms tu rakh liya kar aur ek forward kar diya kar..

Pathan Student:
Miss kya raat ko aap mujhe Call kar rahi thi?
Miss:
No
Pathan Student:
Kamal hai
subha mere Mobile pe likha tha: (MISS Call)

Santa: shirt silwane k liye 1 achha kapda dikhao.
Salesman: plain me dikhau?
Santa: nahi helicopter me dikha saale bandar yahi pe dikha,,,:-,

dad-beta batao jaan kahan se nikalti hai?
beta- khirki se.
dad- woh kaise?
beta- kal didi ek larke se keh rahi thi jaan khirki se nikal jao.

Ek Daaku (Lady Se)
Ye Saare Zevar Mujhe De De?
Lady- Le,
Ye Le,
Payal Le,
Jhumke Le,
Chudi Le,
Chain Le,
Long Le,
Sab Le Le.
Or
..
..
..
..
LUGAAI ban Ja Kutte

Boy Ask A Girl "bidayi" Ke Time Pe Ladkiyan Roti Kyu Hai?

Girl:- " KAMAINE" agar tujhe pata chale ki shar se door le jake koi tujhse bartan majvayeda to tu kya nachega