Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 9

Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi.
Wah! Kia Larki thee!

Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband: Tum ko kese pata?

Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!

Wife saw sign board
Banarasi sari 10/-
Nylon sari 8/-
Coton sari 5/-
Wife:Give me Rs.500 I'll buy
Hsbnd:Andhi,ye istri ki dukan hai.

Husband:aaj sunday hai,aur me puri tarah se njoy karna chahta hu,esliya picture ke 3 ticket laya hu.
Wife:3 ticket kuy.
H:1 4 u
& 2 4 ur parents.

Q: What's the definition of irreconcilable differences?
A: When she's melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet.

WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota?''

HUSBAND: Nahi, Main ne kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha...!

wife: ap apne frend ki wife k janaze pe nahi gaye.
hus: kis muh se jau ?
vo mujhe tisri biwi k janaze pe bula raha hai or mai use ek bar bhi bula nahi paya

Pati aur patni mandir me gaye
Pati ne pucha-tumne kya manga?
Patni ne kaha-Aap aur main saat janam saath rahe.
Patni-Aur aapne kya manga?
Pati-Ye hamara satwan janam ho.

Pati - Is Jeevan Se Mai Tang Aa Gaya Hun!
He Prabhu Mujhe Utha Le.

Patni - Nahi Bhagwan, Mere Pati Se Pahele Mujhe Utha Le.

Pati - To Prabhu, Mai Aab Apani Marji Vapis Leta
Hun,Tu Iski Ki Sun Le.

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'


'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

In Court Judge Said to Women:

U R Realy Brave,Daaku Ko Buhat Maara TumNe

Woman: Mujhe Kya Pata Daaku Tha,Me Samjhi Mera shohar ghar dair se aaya hai

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'


He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Lady to her Friend,
“Me and my Husband
Disagree on Everything. . .
I’m Too Far to the Right
and He’s Too Far to
the Wrong.”

In this world, every wife is a mistress to her husband. One hour of Miss and 23 hours of stress

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

Dosto aaj hum ek ajeeb pranee ke bareme padhenge....is jeev ka naam hai WIFE.ye aksar ghar mai payi jaati hai.Inka paushtik ahaar pati ka BHEJA hota hai,inse tension naam ki bimari ho sakti hai.SAVDHAN!!
FROM-PATI BACHAO SAMITI

I have often wanted to drown my troubles... but I have not been able to convince my wife to go for a swim!

WIFE: jab aapne pehli bar me4ra ghoonght uthaya to kaisa mehsoos kiya tha ?
HUSBAND:ma kasam mar hi jata agar gaytri mantra nahi yaad hota.......

What is the advantage for unmarried people??
.
.
.
.
.
Think!
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.
.
.
.
.
Haar maanì?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wo bed k dono taraf se utar sakty hai ;-)

Married men live longr thn single men do,bt married men r a lot mre willng 2 die

There's a strain of virus deadlier than H1N1. It afflicts most married men causing speech impairment, stress, high B.P and fits of rage. There's no cure in sight and it stays with the victim forever. It's called B1W1(Wife).

ßiwi §hohar §y: Aapko Mera ßanaya Hua Halwa Pasand Nai Aaya ßachy To 3 Palaiten kha Çhuky Han

Andar §y Awaz Ai Mama 1 Palate Aur Dena 1 kitab ki Jild Reh Gæ Hy

women are unpredictable,before marriage,she xpects a man,after marriage she suspects him,and after death she respects him.

Girlfrnd:
chand kitny hoty hain?

Boyfrnd:
2,
1 Tum
or
1 wo oper

After Meriage

Wife:
Chand kitne hoty hain?

Husband:
Anni diye,
Nazr nai anda
1 E honda aa..

To Be Happy With a Men:Love Him Little And Understand Him Alot..
To Be Happy With a Woman:Love Her Alot And DO NOT TRY To Understand HER---

The Husband is the Head of the Family,

But

Wife is the Neck of the Family,
which
can turn the head any where she wants ;-)

Husband:Agar mere HatTh Me sarakar ho to Mein Desh ki Taqdir Badal dunga

Wife:Tum pahle Apna Payjama Badal Lo Subha se Ulta pehna hua h

Kitna Baybus Hai Insaan Qismat K Aagay
Her Sapna Toot Jata Hai Haqeqat K Aagay
Jis Ne Kabhi Jhukna Nahi Sekha Duniya Main
Wo Bhi Jhuk Jata Hai BEGUM K Aagay :-)

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

Shohr: maalum hota he k daraaz me koi khane ki chiz he.?

Bivi: Aap ne bilkul sahi andaza lagaya is me mere sendel hen. . . ;->