Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 8

Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..

Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha

A single spelling mistake that caused a Divorce!!
'A man went to Goa & sent a msg back to his wife- Having amazing & wonderful time!! Wish u were her....!!!!'

Husband: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 litter.

Man to Barber: Cut my hair Short.
Barber: How short you would like to?
.
.
.
.
Man: So Short that My Wife Cannot pull them...

After marriage, husband and wife
become two sides of a coin;
they just can’t face each other,
but still they stay together.

Difference between a man buying a lottery and a man arguing with his wife? A: A man buying a lottery has a chance to win!

1 Admi Apni biwi se bola-Raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi.Is hisab se main 2 shadian or kr sakta hu.Biwi-Bas itna yad rakhna k Dropdi k 5 pati bhi they.

Wife to husband: see breaking news.. 80 yr old man ne shaadi kar li.Husband: sari umar samazdari se bitayi, akhri me bewakufi kar hi di

santa:ek achi news hai or ek bad news

banta:achi news

santa:meri patni ka accident ho gaya

banta:or bad news

santa: wo ek sapna tha

WIFE:SUNA HAY KAY JANNAT MEIN HUSBAND KAY SATH WIFE KO NAHEEN REHNAY DETE HUSBAND:THEEK SUNA HAI.WIFE:AISA KYOUN?HUSBAND:ARAY PAGLI ISI LIAY TU USAY JANNAT KEHTE HEIN.

Question- Voting k liye 18 saal aur Shaadi k liye 21 saal poore hone chahiye! Aisa kyun hai???
Answer- Kyunki sarkar sambhalna aasan hota hai par biwi sambhaalna utna hi mushkil! ;-)

Q: during marriage ceremony why the man is sitting on a horse or a car.?ans:god gives a last chance"bhag sakta ho toh bhag ja beta".

Two married friends Rahul and Rohan talking on the topic of the married woman,

Rahul: Wife ko begum kyun kehte hai?
Rohan: Kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai…

Man; cut my hair short.
Barber; how short?
man; So short that my wife cannot pull them.

God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

Newly married couple went to a restuarant.
Husband: Darling, now we r just like one person.
Wife: It's ok. But don't forget to order lunch for two.

Santa:-whats the difference between "complete" & "Finish" ?
Banta:- when u marry a right person u r complete
&
when u marry d wrong one u r finished.....

Wife:Whenever I enter the room, you switch off the radio, why? Husband: I can't listen 2 two radios at the same time.

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle

If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further

M0ral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE….

Wife Pati ko maar rahi thi-
Padosi- Kyu maar rahi ho?
Patni- Inko phone kiya to ek ladki boli aap jisse sampark karna chahte ho wo abhi vyast hai..

Husband & wife 2no ghumne gaye, Raste me 1 gadha ghas kha raha tha.
Wife: Dekhoji apke rishtedaar! Namaste Boliye.
Husbund: NAMASTHE SASURJI!

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Wife to Husband :
In the past month
you've said 'I Love You' Three times -
once to a Pizza,
once to a sports team and once to your reflection.

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Wife to Husband :
“You spent
6 nights creating a
45 minute Powerpoint
to explain Why You
Don’t have 5 minutes
to Clean out the Litter Box.?”

A recently fired
stock trader said …

“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife…”

Santa bought a car on loan...
He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Santa: If I knew this,
I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Wife:Jab me Gana Gati

hu to Ap Balcony me

kyu chale JateHo

Husbnd:Taki Muhalle

wale ye na smjhe ki Mai

Tumhara Gala Daba rha hu

Wife: where ‘ll you take me on our 10th anniversary?
Husband: We’ll go to African jungle safari.
Wife: Nice. And on our 25th anniversary?
Husband: I’ll bring you back.