Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 92

Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut... just think about ME!

This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn''t expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn''t even tell me?
Animal Planet!

Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.

Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

Sometimes when u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain. Sometimes when u r happy, no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once...

Look at the ocean & see God''s abundance! Look at the sky & see God''s glory! Look at the moon & see God''s wonder! Look at the mirror & see God''s Blunder!

Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?
Son: I`m gonna join the army.
Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.
Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.
Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.

Jab tum hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha!
Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai.

Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

Look at the world around u; u’ll see God''s creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u’ll c God''s providence. Look at the mirror u’ll c God''s sense of humor.

Osama to Big B: How are you??
Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?
Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum.

Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.

My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I''ll be successful and if I don''t reach my goal, I''ll still be successful.

Can''t believe that after all the shit that''s happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.

When u r down & no one is there, don''t think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don''t just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.

When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

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Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A: A Moti-vaiting.

Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: Dhokla.

Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.

A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn''t let you touch me below my belt.

A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad!

You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.

Q: What''s the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that''s where you get your shitty ideas from!

Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls'' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.