Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 96

Dear reciever, I''m a Blonde Virus. I''m not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !

A teenage boy to his father: Here''s my report card and a list I''ve compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.

All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

Aisa hai pyar humara, main kishti tu kinara, mai dhanush tu teer mai matar tu paneer, mai barish tu badal, mai rajmah tu chawal, mai hot tu cool, main April tu Fool...ha ha ha!!

Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!

Well, they do say opposite attracts... So I sincerely ''hope'' you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.

Miss U Miss U sab kahein, par actually miss kare na koi. Agar koi kisiko miss kare to fir SMS band kyun hoye!

M_rkh, St_pid, B_dh_, D_ffer, Bewak_f, Ghoch _, _ll_, Bhondu_, dekha... Everything is incomplete without ‘U’

Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great, I know this is too much for u, so here is a shortcut - Just think about ME!

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!

Feeling bored? Wondering, what to do? Open the zip! Enter your hands in between your zip... take out your... book from your bag and study!

The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you realize that nothing is written in it.... it would be too late for you to stop reading it!

Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han"
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?

Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood:
Red: Wild
Black: Sexy
Blue: Romantic
Pink: Seductive
White: Calm
Yellow: Time to change it...

Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !

Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it...It was a book on CHESS!

No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u... it''s none of ur business.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian!

What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
Answer: A pineapple.
Confused...? I knew you would be!

Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?
Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.

Ladkewaale: Ladki ka naam kya hai?
Ladkiwaale: Hamari pyari, aapki pyaari sabki pyari, Rampyari. Ladke ka naam kya hai.
Ladkewale: Hamara Gu, aapka Gu, ham sabka gu JAGGU

Q: What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
A: 3 runs in 3 balls.

If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

A Law Professor asks a Student: Which is the most imp LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
The Student replies: Father-in-Law

Q: What is the height of optimism?
A: Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

A highly successful flirt was once asked: Which one is ur best gf?
He replied: The next one!
Always aim high n continuously improve ur performance.

Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting ''TWINS TWINS''

Ladies....it is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.