Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 97

Full form of BSNL
Bhai Saheb Nahi Lagega.

Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu?
Santa: KHULE AAM...

Tum sab dost meri zindagi ho, aur aur aur aur aur Lahnat hai aisi zindagi pe!

Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & raped by robbers.
Malik to Naukar: Shakal Dekhi thi un logon ki?
Pappu Naukar: Bibi ji se pucho mujhe to ulta litaya hua tha!

He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

How 2 catch squirrels?
It''s simple. Just climb a tree & sit, Squirrels will come in search of U... U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS!

Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain?
Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE!

There was a man who never romped or played. He never smoked or drank, nor kissed a girl. And he passed away, insurance was denied. Since he had never lived, they claimed he never died. So live it up. CHEERS

Daily Prayer: O GOD, give us strength & capacity to pay Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, FBT, Prop.Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Prof. Tax, Road Tax, Edu Cess, Congestion Levy & many more. Besides don''t forget Gunda Hafta, Bribes, Donations, Chanda, Beggers etc... If we have some time & money left after that, we will do some Business. Cheers to Booming Indian Economy! Gud Day!

Gud looks catch the eyes, but gud personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! Flattered? Don''t Be! It was sent to me, and I just wanted you to read it.

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me?
She replied: No!
And the guy lived happily ever after.

Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money?
Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that''s exactly what he asked me about you!

Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, ''Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta''
Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge.
Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai!

Om Namah Shivay! Jai Sri Ram! Wahe Guru! Jai Sri Krishna! Darr Mat, kisi ko forward nahin karna hai, khud hi jap le... PAAPI.

Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper Ultra.
BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!

My Marriage is Fixed Surprisd?
Dekho free di party da sun k kivein khush hunde ne.

10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke!

Which is the most confusing day in America?
Thinking?
Still thinking?
Fathers day!

Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous coz people say... I''m MIND BLOWING.

Daru se Nasha badhta hai, Nashe se junun. Junun se mehnat, Mehnat se paisa, Paise se izzat. Isliye Izzatdar wohi hai jo Daru pita hai !

Ek Tapori ki wife: Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.
Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?
Wife: Behan...

Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha, Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma, Bidi Piyegi ?

If u don’t have a gf/bf, don’t have a nice job, don’t like partying & dancing, just have a boring life, then don’t worry just log on to www.rabba chukk lay.com

A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000

There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day.

True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u!

In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.

Some translations in Punjabi:
Yo baby! Wassup? Ve kaka, a uttey ki tangeya va?
Listen buddy, dat chick is mine! O bhaoo, o nikki kukree meri aa !
R u nuts? Tu akhrot an oye?
Rock the party. VATTEY mar jashan ch.
Lets hangout! Aja bahar lamkiye.

Commerce joke: Do u know y in a couple''s photo man is on the right side & woman on the left?
Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right!