Hindi Jokes Quotes - Page 15

1 kanjus ki shadi me bar bar Pani pesh kia jara tha

Santa bhukh se behal hokar chilaya, "Bhai,Biryani milegi kya? Pani gale me atak gaya hai".

Santa-Angrejo ne CHAAND pe PANI aur BARAF ki khoj kar li hai...

Banta-To Hum aey ab sirf DAARU aur namkeen leke jana hai...

HUM TO UDTI CHIDYA
KE
BHI PAR GIN LETE HEN
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BANTA :
ISMEN KYA MUSHKIL HAI,
2 HI TO HOTE HAI... ...

Teacher To student: tumhare ghar ki chai bahut achhi thi.

Student: Sir, agar Billi ne dudh jootha nahi kiya hota to aur achhi hoti.

Girl-Plz Send Me Some Good Jokes.
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BOY- Me Padhai Kar Raha Hu...

Aftr 2 min..

GIRL-Kya hua, Aur bhejo n??

BOY- I LOVE YOU DEAR will u marry me??
GIRL- ye to purana hai koi naya style ???







BOY -Apni LAASH ko aag lagane ka MOUKA mere Bete ko degi kya?????????

Ek videshi aadmi ek INDIAN se bola: INDIA gareeb desh hai. INDIAN replied: Kutte jitna oil tum log saal bhar me khate ho, utna to hum ek shaniwaar ko SHANIDEV ko chadha dete hain.

Girlfriend to Santa: Me tum se tabi shaadi karungi jab tum koi sahsi kaam kar ke dikhaoge.
Funny Santa: Tum se shaadi karne se jyada sahsi kaam aur kya ho sakta hai?

CHINTI auto me baithi or 1 pair bahar
rakha. driver-mam pair andar
rakho. CHINTI-nhi,raste me HATHI mile to
LAAT marni hai, kal saala aankh maar k gya
tha...

WIFE-Q G roz subah mere chere pe pani kyo dalte ho?

Hubby-Tumhare pita ne kaha tha meri beti phool k tarah hai isse murzhne mat

dena isliy...

pinky- raat ko mujhse milne ghar ki chat par aana.
raju-kyu??
pinky-mujhey tumhey rakhi jo bandni hai

1 jaat ne apni kharab car k niche kutte ko leta hua dekha.
to kutte ko 1 dum se khicha or kaha "Bahar likad kamin tanne banau Automobile Engineer..."

Worst PJ..
Wo kaunsi cheez hai jo fridge me rakhane ke baad bhi garam rehti hai?
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Kya hua nai pata...
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Ans-garam masala..JSK

Santa-agar tumhe 1 lakh mil jaye to kya kroge
Banta-to mai khusi se pagal ho jaunga aur zindgi bhar apna treatment karaunga..

[after marriage]
Santa-oye, bhabi ka kya nam hai?


banta-google kaur!

santa-aisa kyu?

banta-sawal ek oucho jawab 10 milta hai.

Santa: Aaj TV pe 30 feet ka saap dikhane wale hai.
Banta: Haa par mai nahi dekh paunga.
Santa: kyu?
Banta: mera TV toh 21 inch ka hi hai.

Ek Ladka Ladki Hotel mein gaye....
Waiter:- Kya Loge???
Ladki:- Sabjiyo wali Gujiya.
Waiter:- What???
Ladka:- ye Biharan hai, MOMOS mang rahi hai. Kuch shikh le

Boy-I Love u
Girl ne boy se pucha main bhi tumse i love u kahu to kya karoge
Boy- khushi se mar jaaunga
Girl- ja pagle nahi kehti
JEE Le apni zindgi...

Munna: Ye sala College ka fullform kya hota hai?
Circuit: Apun ko malum hai na bhai

C-Come
O-On
L-Lets
L-Love
E-Every
G-Girl
E- Everyday
=

ADVOCATE KI Biwi:Aap T.V aur Freez Kab Laoge?
ADVOCATE:Court Me Talak Ka 1Case H
Wo Solve Hote Hi Unka Ghar Ujdega aur T.V Freez Aa Jyega

Santa-Tum Dusaro Se Kyu Kehte Firte Ho Ki Me Murkh Hu?

Banta-Maaf Karna Yaar, Muje Nahi Malum Tha Ki Yeh Baat Gupt Rakhni He

PINKY: Ye Tumhe Kya Sujh Gaya Ki..
Tumne Kutta Paal Liya?
PADOSAN:Taaki Logo Ko Pata Na Chal Sake Ki..
Kaun Bhauk Raha Hai.

Kashmir ki Wadiyon me
Barfili hawaon main
jhil k kinare bethe
RANJHA ko
HEER ne kia kaha??
?

"ULLU K PATHE"
HERO mat bn
Sweater Pehen Le

patrol ke RATE badne ke baad-
santa bike leke Patrol pump gaya.

salesman- kitne ka dalu?

santa- 10rs ka bike ke upar spray kar de... aag lagani hai!!

Jo dusro ki madat karta hai uski madat bhagwan karta hai.

Newly invented:
Jo kisi ki madat nhi karta uski madat Google karta H.

BOY:- Bada muskil hai "TEACHER" SE pyar karna...
frnd:- KYOn??
BOY:- loveletter bheja tha... 7 mistek nikal de....

THE FACT...
Dentist to Manmohan Singh during annual check-up..
"Mr.PM,at least in my clinic,plz open yr mouth"..hehee..

Raju: jab main mar jaaoon to samne waali family ko zaroor bulana. Pappu: kyun? Raju: yaar unke ghar ki ladies murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.

Judge-Kya proof hai k tum car speed me nahi chala rahe the?
Man-Sir,main apni wife ko lene sasural jaa raha tha...
u know..
Judge was convinced...

Teacher: Yeh kis ka sign hai? "@@@@@@"
Student: Meri mummy ke.
Teacher aisa kaisa naam hai?
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Student : Jalebi

Air Hostess: Kya lenge?

Ismail Bhai: Chiken tikka, boti kabab, biryani, fish fry, kheer, ice cream and pan

Sir aap plane mein aye hai aap k abba k reception me nahi..

A Good Teacher Is Who
Tells To Study Hard...

But,,

A Best Teacher Is Who
Stands 0utside D
Examination Hall N Shouts. . .

"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE
APNI APNI PARCHIY CHUPA LO..

"Classic"

1st Dost: Me Aisa Kia Kron
k Teri Shaadi k Baad Me
Teri Biwi Ko Cinema Le Kr
Jao'n Aur Tu Naraz Bhi Na
Ho ...

2nd Dost: Meri Shaadi Apni
Behen Se Kra De .

Jethalal-Agr meri shadi meri marji se hoti
Wah-wah
Agr meri shadi meri marji se hoti
Wah-wah
To TAPUDA teri mummy DAYA nhi BABITA hoti..

girl to baba-if i kiss a boy to kya hoga?baba-nark may javogi. girl- acha agar main aap ko kiss karu tho? baba-chalak ladki swarg may jana chahti hai

Kanjus-KajuKatli Aur Lijiye Na
Mehman-Nai Shukriya Me Pehle Hi 4 Le Chuka Hu
Kanjus-Li To Apne Waise 6 He,Lekin Kher Yaha Kaun Gin Raha He......JSK

Agar Marvadi Girls Papita beche to Hum Ladko ko Bhot Fayda hoga.
?

Kyuki Ladkio ko ye aawaz lagani Hogi-
Pappi to le lo
Pappi to le lo

1 Dafa 1 Chor Ne Apni Mangetar Ko Sonay Ka Set
Dia.

Mangetar Ne Khush Ho K Pocha Is Ki Keemat Kia H

Chor:Teen Sal ki Qaid

Punjab Police ka jalwa...

Santa Taalaab me nanga naha raha tha..

Police-Chal oye baahar aakar kapde pehen le teri Talaashi leni hai..

Pati: Khana taiyar h?
Wife: thodi der aur
p:Thik h me bahr kha leta hu
W: 5 min ruko
P:5min me taiyar ho jayga
w: nahi me tiyar ho jati hu..

ramesh: tum mujhe meri shadi me akela mat chodna. suresh: nahi chodunga main tumhe akela musibat mein kaise chod sakta hoon.

Ultimate logic of Santa
Banta: What is the opposite of 'Achaar'?
Santa: Onion.
Banta: How?
Achaar = Pickle = Pee+kal. So opposite of 'Pee+kal' is 'Pee+aaj' = Onion.

Ek baar santa sharab ke nashe mein ek moti suri ke upar ja gira aur uski puchh(tail)pakar kar bola.Mere 3 bachho ki amma roz do chotiyan banati thi aaj 1 choti kis khushi mein bana li?

GF-Me Tumre Leters K Stamp Tickts Ko KISS Krti Hu,Unhe Tumhre Lips Ne Chua Hoga
BF-Pr Me To Unhe Apne Kut.te Ki Naak Se Gila Kr K Chipkata Tha:

Cat:hw old r u?
Elpnt:5 yrs.
Cat: U luk big.
Elpnt: i m a COMPLAN BOY
cat: i m 20yrs
Elpnt: But u luk small
Cat: PONDS MIRACLE,
BADHTI UMAR MANO THAM SI JAYE...

Chintu Samose wale se bola:- ae. tumhare samose se ladki ka baal nikla..
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samose wala :- abe! 5rs.ke samose me puri ladki niklegi kya?

Dunia Mai Sab Se Dukhi Aadmi Kon Hai?
Panipuri Wala !
Kaise?
Kyu Ki Ladki Kuwari Ho Ya Married "BHAIYA" Hi Bulati He.

toofaan me ek macchar udte hue ek nariyal ped pe chappak gaya...
jab toofaan tham gaya toh macchar pasina poch kr kahta hai
"uf aaj main nahi rahta toh is ped ka kya hota?"

ladka-jaanu mai tuhe subha se shaam tak shaam se subha tak pyaar karunga...
girl-to jaanu fir mai potty krne kab jaungi?????????

Teacher:
Snta Tumhari Attendance Bohat Kam He,
Tum Exam Me Nahi Baith Paaoge.

Bnta:
Koi Baat Nahi Mera Bhai Khade Khade Exam De Dega.