Naughty Wishes and Status Messages - Page 9

A girl who opens her hands receives gifts. Who opens her heart receives love. Who opens her legs receives happenis

Q: Why women wear bra & panty with flowers printed on them?
A: To pay tribute to men who got burried at these 2 places.

A survey by Cosmo states that women who sleep on their side are sensitive, on stomach are competent and on their back with legs in the air are very popular.

Mr Elahi had 3 sons named Rehmet-e-Elahi, Brkat-e-Elahi, n Mehbub-e-Elahi.
When his 4th son was born his wife decided to name him Bus-Kar-e-Eelahi

Viagra now available in eye drops, you don''t get an erection but you look hard!

Breaking News: Coke''ll launch a new soft drink in the world market soon, that"ll contain Viagra. They have named it MOUNT-N- DO!

Q: Why do pubic hair never grey and hair on head turn grey?
A: Because utte sochan hi sochan te thale moja hi moja.

A bachelor gives an AD in a matrimonial.
"Wanted - Girl Age no bar, looks no bar, Money no bar, But SEX Baar-baar, Hazaar bar...... Lagataar....!

If the penis is hard & erect it needs good fuck,
if its erect but soft it needs good suck,
if its neither hard nor erect, it needs good luck!

Q: What did one ant say to the other while climbing up Prince Charles'' leg?
A: Meet you at the royal ball.

Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.

Q: What''s the difference between a person who is committing suicide and a virgin?
A: One is trying to die and the other one is dying to try.

What do u usually say after Sex?
I Luv U?
Wrong!
That was great?
Wrong again!
I Luv it?
Wrong again!
The Ans: Mera Kachha Kithe Hai!

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

Doctor: You look terribly weak and exhausted! R u having your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

Taking a clue from recent budget, a call girl now charges extra for ANAL entry. She calls it ''Turnover'' tax.

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
Jab kisi ladki ka rape hone ke badd uski ma bolti hai "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA.

An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

Lightest muscle is a man''s PENIS. It can be raised by a woman''s TONGUE!
Strongest muscle is a man''s TONGUE! It can raise a woman''s LEGS!

Can''t believe after all the shit they have been through they''re still together.
Who? Your bum cheeks!!

If you assume you may make an ASS out of U and ME, but if you don''t assume, nothing gets done.

One day the penis tells the balls:
Tonight v r goin 4 a party!
The balls reply, U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left outside!

Ever wondered why A, B, C, D, E & F are used for bra sizes?
A: Almost boobs
B: Barely there
C: Can do
D: Damn good
E: Enormous
and F for Fake.

Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.

Nipple, Nipple don’t b far,
let me press u in my car,
up above the chest so high,
always milky never dry,
let me suck u don’t feel shy, in the bra u’ll die.

A 95 yr old man sucks his 90 yr old wife''s breast for half hour and drinks two drops of milk and dies.
Postmortem report: Died because of drinking something after expiry date.

Feelin bored? Think of me.
Feelin sad? Call me.
Feelin lonely? See me.
Feelin horny? Use ur hand & njoy d art of messaging me.

Karamchand to his secretary: Today u hv not worn up panties, y? Sec: U r a gr8 detective. How did u come 2 know this? KC: Today, I saw dandruff on your shoes!

3 Facts of Life
Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

Latest porn releases: Shaving Private Ryan, Position Impossible, As Big As It Gets, Forest Hump, Riding Miss Daisy, Starwhores and Pornocchio.