Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 110

Angels come to me & asked for
the most
Inteligent
Smart
Nice
Sweet
Well Behaved
Well Groomed person
So i Gave them your address.
DEKHA
Kaisa ULLU banaya unko....

Wife: Jab tum lassi pite ho, to mujhe Paro kehte ho.
Jab whiskey peete ho to mujhe Darling kehte ho.
Aaj kya piya hai, jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho?
Husband : Aaj mein pura hosh-o-hawaas mein hun.

Q : Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?
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Ans : Jab loose motion lage hon aur pajame ki gaanth na khule.

A - u r attractive,
B - u r best,
C - u r cute,
D - u r dear,
E - u r excellent,
F - u r funny,
G - u r great,
H - he he he,
I - i am,
J - joking.

Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindgi main, badi joshh ke sath,
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindgi main, badi shhor ke sath,
Ab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath,
Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath.

Tutor SANTA: What is ur father’s name? Santa : "Beautiful Red Underware"
Tutor: R u joking? Santa : No sir my father’s name is, "Sundar Lal Chadha".

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho, Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho, Kitni aasani se jaan le lete ho, Kisi ne sikhaya hai… ya bachpan se hi kamine ho?

Kash mere dardo ki tujhe aesi saja mile, Tujhe aayi ho bade jor se SUSU, Aur kahi karne ki jagha na mile.

If engineers start making films, the names will be:
Current ho na ho,
Aa ab B. Tech karen,
Kabhi A.C. Kabhi D.C,
Hamari IC aapke pas hai,
Fuse lagaya to darna kya,
Engineer no.,
Engineering koi khel nahi,
Input wale output le jayenge,
Maine engineering kyu kiya!!

Ladka Bola: Kash ein hasinao ke baap mar jate, Bahana gam ka hota, hum inke ghar to jaate. Ladki Boli: Bewkoof, Yeh bolana bhi paap hoga, Kisi din tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.

Suraj hua maddham,
Chand jal ne laga,
Aasma yeh hai,
Kyo pighal ne laga,
Main tehra raha,
zameen chal ne lagi,
Kya yeh mera pehla, pehla pyaar hai?
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Yeh pyar nahi-earthquake hai bhaag!

Film dekhna hai??
Dekhao...............
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Dekha?
yeh Sanjay Lila Bhanshali ka naya film "WHITE"

Shahjahan ne TAJMAHAL ki
Har deewar ko dekha
Har meenar ko dekha
Har kaleen ko dekha
Har khidki ko dekha
aur bola……..
MAA KASAM BAHUT KHARCHA HO GAYA!!!

A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". Santa wrote back, "Send me ur mother".

Naukrani : Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin : Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani : Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte..

This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat an cat idiot cat busy cat for cat cat seconds cat !… Now read it without the word cat..........

Question: Why do some teachers wear sunglasses?
Answer: Because their pupils are very bright.

Sorry recharge khatam ho gaya. Girlfriend ko ''I luv u'' bolna hai aur recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, peg maro aur gf k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao, "I Luv U". Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf Rs mein.

Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai, Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai, Jaise baajre ke khet mein bhains ghus aayi hai.

Pichle zamane ki ladkiyan yeh kehti thi : "Pehla pehla pyaar hai, Aankhon me khumaar hai, Aaja mere saajna tera intezaar hai". But aaj kal ki ladkiyan kehti hai :“pehla pehla pyaar hai, aankhon me khumaar hai, aaja mere saajna, NAHI TO DUSRA TAIYAAR HAI”

Sardar orders pizza. Waiter : Sir should i cut it into pieces or into pieces? Sardar : hi karde khaye nahi jayenge.

Ladki Boli : Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi, Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi. Ladka Bola : Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga, Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.

What is difference between watch & wife?
Ans: Ek bigarti hai toh bandh ho jati hai, aur Dusri bigarti hae tu Challu ho jati hai!

Kaash tere chehre par chickenpox ke daag hote, Chand to tu hai hi … sitaare bhee saath hote.

BUSH :- Hamare paas MADONA HAI, BRITNEY HAI, SHAKIRA HAI, KATE HAI, aur tumhare paas kya hai? MANMOHAN SINGH :- Hamare paas EMRAAN HASHMI hai sabhi ko bhejdo.

Man was smoking in a bus, conductor said, "No smoking ka board nahi dikhta?" Man: Saale uske side main, "Always wear condom" ka board bhi hai ab woh bhi pehen ke bethu kya?

Newtons First Law of Ishq: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless any external agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy........

Doctor ke haath me phoolon ki mala dekhkar patient ne poocha:
Doctor ye mala kiske liye he? Doctor ne jawab diya:
Yeh mera pehla operation he agar success gaya to mere liye varna tumhare liye.

Similarty between Gandhiji & Malika. Dono ne apne kapde tyag diye, Ek ne desh ke liye, Dusre ne deshwasio ke liye.

Ekdin Sardar sapne mein apni maut hote hue dekha.
Next day unhone apni ICICI BANK A/c. Close kar dia.
Why??
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Because ICICI Bank''s Slogan : "WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE"........