Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 109

Ladki aisi paheli hai, Kabhi tere toh kabhi meri saheli hai, Kharcha karo toh bole: "DARLING I LOVE U". Na karo toh bole: "BROTHER HOW R U ?"

Question : "Pizza Hut" ka opposite kya hota hai?
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Answer : Pizza hatna mat...........

Samunder bhar syllabus hain, Nadi bhar padh pate hain, Balti bhar yaad reheta hain, Mug bhar likh pate hain, Chullu bhar number aate hain, Aur usimein doob kar mar jaate hain

Tere dwar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Tere dwar par sanam hazaar baar aayenge,
Ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge.

Haseen tum ho to bure hum bi nahi,
Mahelo mein tum ho to sadak par hum bhi nahi,
P yar karke kehte ho shaadi shuda ho,
Kaan kholkar sunlo, kunware hum bhi nahi.

Mere jaise ladke ko kya chahiye? Ladki jo pyar de. Ladki jo achha khana banaye. Ladki jo paisa kamaye. Aur aisa nasib ke tino ladkiyan ek dusre se mil na paaye.

Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Saya sa koi lehraye to lagta hai ki tum ho,
Ab tumhi batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho.

Tum ek aise don ho jiske pass, Har lock ki chabi hain, Tabhi to apko don with key kahte hain. Aur Pyarse. "Donkey". Think it DON!

Biwi ne bade pyar se pati ki gale mein baahein dali, aur puchha - kaisa lag raha hai? Pati bola : Jaise bhagwan sanker k gale me naag.

Sardar ke bagiche me bahut sare ped the,
Sardar naukar ko bola ped ko pani dal,
Naukar bola saab barish aah raha hai,
Sardar: Abey buddhu chhatri pakadke dal na!.

American gora bola : Humhare yahan shaddi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
Sardar : kamal hai, humhare yahan toh female se hoti hai!

din
jab
tumhari
saadi
ho
jayegi
tumhari
biwi ke pet
mein
mera
ha mera
% sure
Bhatija hoga
Sala besharam!! Biwi pe shak karte ho..................

Khuda kare mobile tera kho jaye,
Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye,
Ladkiyo ko SMS karu tere naam par,
Maar tujhe mile aur kaleja thanda mera ho jaye!

Santa & Banta sit in a coffee house… st : "Jaldi pee yaar, coffee thandi ho jayegi" nd : To kya? st : Arre Bevkoof, menu card padha !!! HOT COFFEE Rs. /- & COLD COFFEE Rs. /-

ALLAH ke naam pe, MAULA ke naam pe, Tere biwi bachon ke naam pe, Koi mere is SMS padhne wale dost ko paisa dedo, Yeh mujhey SMS nahin karta

Santa''s child : Mere papa bahut darpok hain.
Banta''s child : How?
Santa''s child : Jab bhi road cross karten hain, meri ungli pakad lete hain !

Sitam dhaane ke bhi had hote hain,
Pass naa aane ke bhi had hote hain,
Ruth jaane ke bhi had hote hain,
Ek sms to kardiya karo,
Paise bachane ke bhi had hote hain.

John: Hey bhagwan mujhe itna handsome kyun banaya, jhahan bhi jata hun ladkiya pareshan karti hai. Bhagwan : Agar tu itna pareshan hai to (your name) kitna pareshan hoga.

Look Here
Bhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn,
Look There
BBhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnn,
Look Upward
BBBhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeennnnnnnnnn,
Look Downward
Bhhhhhhhheeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnn,
Yaar idhar udhar kiya dekh rahe hoo machhar hai maroo.

Hitler raha nahi, Saddam pakda gaya, Bin Laden ka thikana nahi, Veerapppan mara gaya, Aap bhi dikhte nahin, Lagta hai dharti par satyug aane wala hai...

Banta : Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho? Santa : Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

Hey Krishna tu is kalyug me aake to dikha … Tune saal ki umar me mama kans ko mara, Bin Laden ko hath laga ke to dikha. Tune pura parvat ek ungli pe uthaya, mere gym me aake ek dumbell utha k to dikha. Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saree pehnai, Bipasa ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha. Tune gokul k gopia sath me rakhi, mere college ki ek ladki pata k to dikha. Hey krishna tu is kalyug me aa k to dikha.

Ek murgi aur uske teen bache road cross kar rahe the.
Road cross karne ke baad murgi ke ek bache ne kaha, "Aakhir hum paanchon ne road cross karliya".
Paanch kaise?
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Socho Socho …
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Kaise Hua?
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Aur Jara Socho
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Are bacha hai, kuchh bhi bol sakta hai.

Kal jab rasthe pe ja raha tha toh tumko dekha,
Aur socha tum gharse mat niklo, tum ghar se mat niklo,
Agar Nikal gayi to yeh bedard zamana kahegi,
Who let the dogs out… who who who...

Girl riding on a cycle hit the Jatt,
Jatt : Andhi hai kya,
Girl : huh! Behra hai kya, Ghanti jo mari?
Jatt : Ghanti hee marni thi to nikal kar marti, puri cycle marne ki kya zaroorat thi.

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Kuch Nahi ''I'' k mobile ko ''U'' k mobile say pyar ho gaya hay is liye line mar raha hay.

Woh to aaj bhi hamein dekh kar muskurate hain. Par unke bachche bade kameene hain, Jo hamein mama, mama kah kar bulate hain

Teacher : U have score % marks.
Student : I will score % marks.
Teacher : Mazaaak kyon kartey ho?
Student : Suroo kisney kiya?

Wife : If I die what will u do? Husband : Main paagal ho jaun ga! Wife : Will u marry again after I die? Husband : Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai!

Aye dost tu bhi likha kar shayri… Meri tarah tera bhi naam ho jayega, Log fekenge ande tamatar, To raat ki sabji ka intezaam ho jayega..