Funny Wishes and Status Messages - Page 98

ALCOHOL MANTRA:
guru bRUM guru WHISKY gurudevo GINEswaro,
guru sakhyat paramBRANDY, Tasmaishree BEERaye namaha........
CHEERS::::::

Go
Pakistan
4 higher studies.....


IIT:
Islamic
Institue of
Terorisim


JEE:
Jehadi
Entrance
Exam


CAT:
Career in
Al Qaida
Taliban


MBA:
Member of
Blast
Association.

2 pyaz
3 Lashun
5 gm jeera
3 kali mirch
2 spon namak
4 spoon oil
1 cup water
Aur thodasa hara
dhania





pata hai hum kya bana
rahe hain


aapko ULLU.
wo bhi swad anusar

Beauty isn''t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

Janwaran di party chal rahi cee Chua 4 peg la ke set cee.
Billi: J ajj party na hundi ta mai tenu ajj kha jandi.
Chua: Ja tur ja saliye, loki kehan ge khadi piti wich janani kut diti.

Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason.

Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!

I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can''t reach his ass to scratch.

Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I''m goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who''ll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...

Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes?
A: Those who don''t have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!

Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!

Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein Rahul kya hai?
Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai...

What building has the most stories?
The Library.

Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya te kisi hor de nal suti si.
Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!

Agar aap chahte hain k apke face pe dhool-mitii na lage to Roz subah lagaiye Asian Paints ka Apex Ultima jo dhool-mitti ko tikne na de!

Asmaan mai tum ho, samundar mai tum ho, zamin pe tum, hawa mai tum, jahan b dekho tum hi tum ho. DOMEX wali aunty thik kehti thi KITANU har jagah hote hain.

Gud Morning! Aap ye soch rahe honge ki Raat ko Gud Morning kaise?
Simple! Phone mera, Paise mere, Msg mera, toh marzi bhi meri! Jo marzi aayega wo bhejunga.

Valentine special: Dunyia wich reh k rangaa wich kho jao.. Kise nu apna bana lao ya kise da ho jao.. Je kuchh vi ni hunda taan....Chakko Rajaai te so jao.

I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.

Girl announced her engagement to her father.
Father: Does this fellow has any money?
Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!

A teenage boy to his father: Here''s my report card and a list I''ve compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.

Elephant falls in Luv with Ant, but Ant''s parents were against their marriage. Guess why?
They gave a Solid Reason: Kehnde Munde de dand Bahar ne.

Advice of dentist. "Treat ur girl friend like a toothbrush. Don''t let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months.

Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait?
He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say ''Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait''.

Only once in your life u''ll get a right person with whom u''ll get married, so, till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones!

What’s the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

Education is incomplete without 5 B''s
B - Bikes
B - Beers
B - Babes
B - Bunks and the most important
B - Backlogs!

Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.

Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?