Hindi Jokes Quotes - Page 29

Teacher:me ksi pe 1 nazar dal k bta skte hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he
Student:mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na.

Sharma dial a no. & hear, iss call ke liye aapka balance kafi nahi hai."


sharma: koi baat nahi jaane man tumse baat ho gai bas itna hi kafi hai.

sonu-yaar,maine gf ko sms kiya ki main raat ko aaunga...raat me geya to wo kisi aur k sath thi
monu man chota mat kar yaar msg nhi mila hoga

father-beta tumne college me sabse mushkil kaam koun sa sikha?
beta-2 kaam sikhe.
1 danto se bear ki bottal kholna.
2 tez aandi me 1 tilli se cigerete jalana

teacher ne bachhe ki copy par note likha kripya bachhe ko nahalakar bheja kare.
bachhe ki mom ne note padne ke bad likha kar bheja bachhe ko padaya kare sungha na kare

ragging ke waqt ladko ne 1 ladki se kaha,1 sawal ka jawab do-patna kahan par hai?
ladki-bihar mein
boys-yahin pat jao itne dur jaane ki kya jarurat hai....!

Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

Sir: Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hain ?
STUDENT: Mujhe Nahi Pata….
Sir: Shaabash Beta, Baith Jao..!

Ho gai Karachi University mein Faraz ki pitai,

Kyun k relly thi jamiat ki aur wo keh raha tha

Altaf Bahi...
Altaf Bhai... =P ;)

Nokrani:Maalkin apki purani sarhee muje nai chaiye.

Malkin: Kyun?

Nokrani:Apki saree pehenne k bad sahab

"Aap"Ko samajh k mere paas b nai aate.

PATHAN naqli note lekar shop pr surf lene gaya,

SHOP KEEPER: is mein quaid-e-Azam ki topi nahi hai

PATHAN:topi meili pari hai usi k liye to surf lene aya hon.

Bap-Aj tak tumne aisa koi kam nahi kia jisse mera sir uncha ho gaya ho
Beta-yad kar Ke papa ek dafa Maine apke sir k
niche 3takye rakhe the ;)

Texi Wala-Sir Sorry

Mai Meter Chalu Karna Bhul Gaya Tha

Ab Kitna Bhada Lu?

GOLU-Oye Praji Koi Gal Nhi
Maii B Apna Batva Bhul Gaya Hu

Aaj Maine ek Jaan Bachai,Pucho Kaise?

Ek Bhikhari Ko Maine Pucha
1000 Ka Note Du To Kya Karega?

Wo Bola-Khushi Se Mar Jauga!

To maine use paise nahi diye..!

A bus fell in a lake,every1 swam across,den sudnly MARWADI JUMPS in searches 4 some1,when askd whom is he searching?
Marwadi: sala conductor change nahidiya@

Karan Johar ka kamaal to dekho
kuch kuch-luv ur frenz
K3G-Luv ur parents
Kal ho na ho-Luv ur neighbors
KANK-luv others' wife
n nw
DOSTANA-luv d same gendr;-)

SANTA- maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi
Fir B.Sc,Fir M.Sc,Fir usko job b lagwa di.Ab OR kya karWAU?BANTA- acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karde

Wife:
Meine
"GADHO" par research ki Hai,

wo apni
"GADHI"
ke siwa kisi aur "GADHI" ko dekhta tak nahi!


HUSBAND:
Issliye to wo

"GADHA

1 Pathan Ko Road pe say 100 Rupay Ka note mila
Jis par likha tha,,
.
.
. "Eid Mubarak"

PatHan Ne Note Pocket mein dala or Bola


"khair Mubarak" ;p :

1 Banda Bus me 1 Molvi ko daikh kr

darty darty pochta hai.

“Movi sab,
Ap
?
?
?
?
?
?
Dam Darood waalay Molvi ho , ya bomb BArood walalay.. ?

Munnabhai: Circuit ye sonu kaun hai?

Circuit:Bhai mast ladka he bole to A un kanjuso ko Bhi SMS bhejta hai jo ise nahi
Bhejte.

Santa Ka Darwaza Zor Se Baja.
Wo Ghusse Se Darwaze Pr Gaya Aur Bola:
"Kon Gadhe Ka Bacha Hai?
Bahar Se Aawaz Aai:..
Papa Mai Hu. :-)

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?


Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.



Banta: Isn't it too high?



Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

1 Admi ne 1 udas pathan se pocha:
Khan sahab ap q udas hai?
Pathan: aj hum ko
N.W.F.P ka Mutlab pata chal gaya
Admi: wo kiya??
Udas Pathan
“NO WOMEN FOR PATHAN”

Pathan raat ko Machardani laga kar
so raha tha:

Achanak ek Jugnoo aa nikla.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Lo ye khocha machar humko
Torch le kar dondh raha hai.

santa: uth...uth... bhukamp aa raha h...
banta: soja.. soja.. makaan girega to makaan maalik ka girega, hum to kirayedar hain...

Neil Armstrong lands on Moon & sees two men !!!!!

Asks them: Who are you ?????

Reply !!!!!
*
**
***
****
*****
****
***
**
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Deepak Chourasiya with Cameraman Santosh from Aaj Tak !!!!!

munna bhai: amirican rastrapati sala kaha rehta hai....?
circut: dhobigath pe....
munna bhai: dhobigath bole to.....?
circut: bhai englih main usko washington kehte hai....

Patni- Mobile,
Pati- Sim Card,
Dono Mile To Hua Reacharge,
Beta Hua To Incoming,
Beti Hue To Outgoing,
Two in One Hua To Bonus Talktime,
Kuch Nahi Hua To Network Problem.

S: Premika ne aisi maang rakhi k Maine Use chhod diya
B: Lekin uski Mange Kya Thi
S: Shadi Ki

Girl-papa,ek ladka mjhe bar bar i love u bol raha h,kya karu? Father-beta usse shadi karle zindagi bhar agar dobara bolde to mera naam badal dena..

GOLU Ne A.C Lgwaya
MOLU-Apko To Sardi Bahut Lagti He?
GOLU-Oye Mene Ulta Lgwaya He
Garam Hwa Andar Or Thndi Hawa Bahar Jati Hai

Makan Malik-Mai tumko kiraya dene
k liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hu

Std-Theek hai ji,

Main
Diwali
Holi
Or
Chrismas

ke 3 din select karta Hun

Ek pathan ka school main 7th class main new admision howa .

Teacher.beta batao Allama iqbal koN hain?

Pathan.hum ko kya pata hum to school mai naya hai..

Pathan Larki Se: I Love You.

Larki: Tameez Se Baat Karo.


Pathan: "Assalam-o-Alaikum"

I Love You. :-)

Waiter: Khan sahb, 10 Rs tip to meri insult hy..

Khan: To phir..?

Waiter: 20 Rs to hon..

Khan: Main tumhari double insult nhi kr skta..!!

Teacher, gul khan tum class mein topi kiun phan kar aay ho


Gul khan, teacher kisi ko pata na chalay kay mery dimag mein kia chal raha hai...=P;-)

Pathan: Mere Mohalley Wale Bohat Kanjoos Hein.

Dost: Kiun?

Pathan: Sab Ne 14 Aug Manai Par Kisi Ne Qurbani Ka Gosht Nahi Bheja;-)

A Pathan teacher gives dictation test to students,

Last bench students:

We are not able to hear you SIR,


Pathan : "OK I'LL WRITE ON THE BOARD .,..,..,..,!

Bhikari:
ALLAH k nam pr kch de do.

Pathan 100 ka note dikhaty huy bola:
kia tmhary pas 50 hai?

Bhikari:
khushi se g hain
Pathan:
to kocha pehlay wo kharch kr

Boy: Darling Humare Pyaar k bare me kisi ko mat batana, Girl: Priya ko to zaroor bataungi,kehti thi kon pagal hoga jo tujhse Pyaar krega!

Aik Pathan Cycle Sath Lay Kar Bhaga
Ja Raha Tha
Rastay May Kisi Nay Kaha K
Khan Sahib Chay To Petay Jao
Khan: Agr Itna Time Hota
To Cycle Pay Na baith Jata

A Policeman to his son- Yeh kya hai itne kam marks??
Aaj se tumhara khelna,T.V.dekhna,ghumna sab band.
son- Yeh lo papa 50Rs. Baat ko yehin khatam karo..

Newton ne apple niche girte dekha aur GRAVITY discover ki.

Koi us GADHEY se ye puche k ABEY SAALAY!
25 saal se POTTY karta tha to wo kya UPER JATI THI ?

Akbar: Anarkali tuje kya chahiye?

Taaj ya Takht?

Anarkli:
Jan-e-panah mje na Taaj chahiy aur na hi Takht
bus

kilo chini mil jaye to nwaazish ho ge..

Mera Us
Shehr-e-Adaawat Mein Basera Hai Faraz…

Jahan Charas To Mil Jaati Hai.

Magar Cheeni Nahi Milti

RAAZ public toilet gya to Diwar p likha tha

"Dunya Chand p pohnch gai
or Tm yha bethe ho?

RAAZ niche likh aaya "Bs Ye kr k Hm b ja rhe he

Teacher Mehnat Karoge
To Kuch Banoge

Sant-Teacher Hamra
Gadha To Itni Mehnat Karta Hai

Magr Wo Ab Tak Kuch Nahi Bana ...;->

FARAZ to RAAZ Ek sawal ka jawab do..

WO KON C UNGLI HAI JIS MAI HADDI NAHI HOTI???

RAAZ-Pata nahi??
FARAZ-DASTANYE KI.