Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 38

Sharma:Yar murgi k bacche anda torkar bahar kaise aa jate hai. Verma:Mujhe to ye samajh mein nahi aata sale band ande mein ghus kaise jate hai.

Husband & Wife Husband: Main Tumhari roz roz ki farmaishon se tang aa gaya hoon…!

is liye khud khushi karne jaa raha hoon

Wife: Acha aik White Saari to dila dain Iddat kay dino main kya pehnungi . . ?

Santa: When do you know your kids have grown up?
Banta: When your daughter begins to put on lipstick or your son starts to wipe it off.-

Banta: Why are rainbows similar to policeman?
Santa: Both appear after the storm is over.

Customer: I am afraid your make of car does not suit us. My fiancee cannot reach the brakes and the steering-wheel at the same time.
Salesman: But sir, the car is perfect. Why not try a new girl?

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
really works

Bhakt-panditji aisi patni ko kya kahenge jo beautiful ho,intelligent ho,understanding ho,kabhi jealousy na kare aur ek badhiya cook ho ? Pandit-AFWAAH

Banta: Santa, Bulb Jalana
Santa Bulb nikaal kar Gas Stove par rakh deta hai
Bulb jal gaya

Kid-aunty,mummy ne 1 katori chini mangai hai
aunty-chini k sath haste huye boli, acha or kya kaha mummy ne? kid-kaha vo kutiya na de to sharma ji se le ana

Santo Office Jaa raha tha
Preeto(Pyar se boli): See you at night!

Santa (Gusse se): Dhamki kise de rahi ho mein bhi tujhe dekh lunga.

Shaadi k din patni pati se: "SUNO JI!!! Aaj se AAPKE bina MAI nahi MERE bina aap nahi"10 saal baad patni:"KUTTE!!! Aaj ya to TU nahi ya MAI nahi"

"High Class Insult"


Boy 2 Girl :- Apne Baal to dekho jaise Ghass Ugi Ho

Girl :- Isliye itni der se soch rahi hu ke mere pass Gadhe kyo Khade hai

A mouse was going with its kids.a CAT jumped infront of them. Mouse shouted:" BHOW BHOW"
Cat ran away,

Mouse:"that's the advantage of learning foreign language

"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"

* "I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."

1 indian ne 1 chinese ladki se shadi ki.1 saal bad hi wo mar gai.
Usey rota dekh uska dost bola:Afsos he,par soch China ka maal aur kitna chalega.

Banta: Santa dhobi se te T Shirt Ulti karke press kar dena!
Ek din Baad
Banta: Meri T shirt press ho gayi?
Santa: Babooji press kaise karta, koshish to bahoot ki lekin ULTI aa hi nahi rahi.

girl to bf= is week roz movie dekhenge nxt week rooz shoping karenge

bf=uske nxt week hum rooz mandir ke bahar bethenge

girl=aisa kyo?
bf=bheek mangne

LKG Teacher: If U tell 1-10 without any mistake den I will give U one kiss.



LKG Boy: If I count 1-100, Do U have any better Package....!!!

Customer:hi,I can't print .every time
I try ,it say 'can't find printer'.i even
lifted the printer and placed on monitor..:-)

Ek Angrez ko raat me bahut machhar kaat rahe the...


Usne gusse me aake saari light band kardi.
tabhi room ek jugnu aaya.


Angrez: Ohhhh no!!! India ka macchar sala ab torch leke dhund raha hai....!!!!

A girl loved a boy sincerely, truly & more than her life..
FOR MORE JOKES RECHARGE RS 30/ MONTH TO THIS NUMBER..
CONDITIONS APPLY! ;-)

A Man before marriage is - Superman.
After Marriage - Gentleman.
5 Years Later - Watchman.
10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.

1 Molvi Dua maang raha tha: Ya ALLAH Shahadat ki mout Dey.Paas betha 1 Baba bola:Molvi G Jihaad te tussi jana Nai te Halway wich Bomb kisi ne pana nai.

Life may hamesha Haste raho, muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho...
thaki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye ki……………
Tum... "KUWARE" ho…..

Faqeer to Men: Allaha ke naam pe de do
Men: Maf karo baba
Faqeer: Kuch to de do
Men: Achha baba jo SMS pad raha hai usko le jao
Faqeer: Maine Bhikh mangi hai bhikari nahin

Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband: "Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."

Teacher-batao bachcho jo galat kaam karte hai wo kahan jate hai..?






Student- sharmaate huye bola sir.. CENTRAL PARK, VICTORIA, NALBAAN, MILLENIUM PARK..

ek pagal dusere se:- yaar tuzhe pata hai bharat or hindustan ke beach jang chid gaye hai
dusra pagal:- tu chinta kyu karta hai be...
hum to india mein rahete hai.......

Billu: WHAT IS LOVE?Tillu: JAB GIRLFRIEND PAADE AUR USKI BADBOO BHI TUJHE GULAB KI KHUSHBOO KI TARAH LAGE.Tab Samajhna Tujhe Sachcha Pyar Ho Gaya..

Teacher to circuit: munna bhai ne raat ko khana khaya
is sentence ka future tense banao.....
circuit: munna bhai subah potty karega....