Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 39

Ahmad: hum 25 behan or bhai hai
Karim: kya tumhare ghar family-Planning wale nahi aaye the,
Ahmad: aaye the par school shamaj kar chale gaye......

1 choti si larki shop keeper k pas gayi or boli.

Jab main bari ho jaon gi to mujse shadi karo ge,

Shopkpr. Hans k bola han kar lunga.

Larki boli to kia apni hone wali wife ko 1 choclate bhi nahi de sakte.

Ek Raat light chali gayi SANTA:Aree yaar pankha to chala doo,banta: Kar dii na paglo wali baat?pankha chala diya to mombati bhuj jayegi.

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to arise,
Hurricanes to sway around,
&
No one teaches how to choose a husband..
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN!!! ;-)

Maa- Beta tum apne baal kyun nahi katwate?
Beta- Kyu maa?
Maa- Beta log rishte k liye tumhari behen ko dekhne aate hain aur tumhe

pasand kar jate hain!!! ;-)

AMERICA: Hamare Kutte Fotball khelte hai.
JAPAN : Hamare Machhi Dance Karte hai.
CHINA : Hamare Hathi Cricket Khelte hai.
INDIA : HAMARE GADHE MASSAGE PADHTE HAI.

bahu ki vidai k baad ghar aane pe saas ne kaha "beti aaj se mujhe ma or apne sasur ko papa kehna.. sham ko pati k aane par biwi boli, maa bhaiya aa gaye...

Mr Saleem had 3 sons
1 Rehmet -e- Saleem
2 Barkat -e- Saleem
3 Meboob -e- Saleem

When his 4th son was born, his wife decided to name him

Baskar -e- Saleem!!

Santa Banta se:
Bhai ye khushiyan kya hoti hain?

Banta:
Pata nahi bhai,
meri to kam umar me hi shadi ho gayi thi..

teacher: wo konsi chiz hai jo tum roz dekh to sakte ho par tod nahi sakte .
student: apka mooh.......

WIFE-KITCHEN SE. AJI SUNTE HO DEKHO ME AJ KAL BOHAL KHOBSURAT HO RAHI HUN...
HUSBEND-TUMNE KAISE JANA?
WIFE-AJ KAL MERI KHOBSURTI DEKH KER ROTI BHI JALNE LAGI HAI...

santa:chal race lagate hain, jo harega wo rs.1000 dega. banta :thik hai par mujhe rasta nahi pata . santa:bas tu mere peece peeche rehna. banta :thanx bhai.

1 GADHA RO RO KER DUA KER RAHA THA? YA KHUDA MUJHE PADHNE KI TOFIQ DE? 1 DIN USKI DUA QABOOL HUYE OR WO YE SMS BHI PADH RAHA HAI

Santa ko exam mein koi sawal ka answer nahin aata tha, santa ne har sawal ke neeche ///////// lines laga di or likha Scratch kar ke answer padh lena.

SANTA 1ST TIME PLANE ME BETHA.. PLANE RUNWAY PER DOR RAHA THA.. SANTA NE PILOT KO THAPPAD MARA OR BOLA.. ABE SALE DEER HO RAHI HAI OR TU BY ROAD JA RAHA HAI....

Girl:If v gt married stop smokng.
Boy:Ok!
Girl:Drinkng 2.
Boy:Ok!
Girl:N goin to d nite club 2.
Boy:-Yes..
Girl:-Wht else cn u leav??
Boy:-D idea of marryng u!!

Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz lagai,santa nanga hi bahar aa gaya dost-kuch to pahen leta yaar,santa bhag k andar gaya or “chappal pahen kar aa gaya.

Writer: At last, I have written something which will be accepted by any magazine.
Friend: What is that?
Writer: A cheque for annual subscription.

By mistake santa entered into a ladies toilet, All the ladies stood up. santa -BAITHO-BAITHO,IZZAT DIL ME HO BAS YAHI KAAFI HAI...|||"

Banta: Please give me your telephone number. I will call you up in some time.
Santa: It is in the telephone book.
Banta: Fine! What is your name?
Santa: That is in the telephone book, too.

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur.
Thakur: tere pas do haat to hai hi, do aur leke kya shera vali mata banega...

Teacher:Beta tum iss class me 3 saal se fail ho rahe ho.Tumhari umar me Shashtriji matric pass kar chuke the.
Student:Sir,gyan mat bantiye.Aapki umar me Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke the!!!

Pappu 2 God: Plz give me 1 bag full of money, a job and 1 big vehicle full of gals.
God: Bless u!
2day Pappu is a bus conductor of a Girls College.

Tring Tring Tring.

Santa: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Santa: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.

Father: wht abt ur result?
Son: wo headmaster saab ka beta fail ho gaya...

F: wht abt urs?
S: wo khan saab ka beta fail ho gaya.

F: n wt abt ur?
S: Wo dr. Saab ka..

F: u idiot m asking abt urs?
S: to aap kon se prime minister h jo aap ka beta paas hoga

Teacher to Santa: What is Number “Seven” , Even or Odd
Santa: Even
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Santa:Remove the ‘S’!!

preeto poti test karvane gayi dr. ne kaha-ye poti nahi halwa hai.
preeto-ek phone kar lu.
dr.-kyo?
preeto-santa ji ko batana hai ki unke tiffin mein poti chali gayi hai.

santa - radio pe gaane sun raha tha papa tehte hai bada naam karega.

maa - bijli ka bill tera baap bharega...............................

Santa:-Yaar Ans sheet pe kya likhun??
Banta:-Yehi Ki
"IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GAYE ANS KALPNIK HAIN JINKA KISI BHI BOOK SE KOI SAMBANDH NAHIN HAI"

Principal-batao Shivji ka dhanush kisne toda tha.
Boy-Ghabrakar,Sir,such keh raha hoon maine nahi toda.
Principal-Master Sahab!aap kya padha rahe hain bachon ko.
Master-Sir!ye theek kah raha hai,isne dhanush nahi toda.Ye to kal school hi nahi aaya tha.