Hindi Jokes Quotes - Page 44

Santa: Maa
Gud news!
Hum 2 se 3 Ho Gaye Hai!
Maa: achha,
beta Hua ya beti?

Santa: nahi Maa,
teri bahu ne Dusri Shaadi karli !!

Ek admi Pandit se=
Pandit ji Aazadi or Mukti me kya Faraq hai?
Pandit ji-Agar biwi Maykay jaye to Aazadi
or Upar chali jaye to Mukti

Passengr 2 Bus-Conductor:Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rahete Ho?
Conductr-24 Ghante!
P-Wo Kaise?
Cond-"8 Ghante BUS Me Baki 16 Ghante BIWI KE BAS ME"

LARKI : JAN MUJE AISE PURPOSE KARO JAISE AAJ TK
KISI NE NA KIYA HO
LARKA : KAMINI, I LOVE YOU,MUJSE SHADI KAR KE
MUJHE TABAHKAR DE KAMBAKHAT

Santa ne Banta se pucha ke teri ab tak shadi kyo
nahi hui? Banta bade zor se chilla kar bola-

"JAAKO RAAKHE SAAIYA, MAAR SAKE NAA KOi"

Boss: Santa tumhe pata nahi ki permission ke bina andar aana mana hE.

Santa :-Sir main permission lene hi to andar aaya hu

Gal v/s boy-

Ladki-
Musibat ke waqt hamasha muskarate rahna chahiye

Ladka-
Is liya to mene tumhe dekh kar muskarata rehta hu.

Girl : Meri Har Saans Pe Kai Ladke Marte Hain

Boy: Toh Tum Koi Acha Tooth Paste Istemal Kyu Nahi Karti

Doctor or daku me kya fark he
doctor ghar bula k luta he or
daku ghar aake lut ta he

Santa,banta dono bhai same class me they

Teacher-Tum dono ne father name alag kyu likha?

Brothers-Madam tusi Fir kahoge nakal maar li.

boy prpose to a girl - do you love me?
girl - shakal dekhi he apni isse to accha me sucid kar lungi.
boy - kamini mar jayegi per 1 garib ke kaam nahi aaygi.!

commerce k student agar film banaye to filmo k naam honge-
kabhi cr-kabhi dr, main account ki deewani hun,hum tax de chuke sanam, hamra calculater apke pas hi

Define Girl friend:->
girl frnd wo hoti hai jo ldke ko tok-tok ker uski sari aadtein badal deti hai aur baad main kehti hai.
tum pehle jaise nahi rehe....

Bush: Mere pain da char munda hua hy.
Musharraf: Mubarak huvay.
Bush: But ik masla hy.
Musharraf: o ki.
Bush: piu da pta nhe.
Musharraf: Koi gal nhe USAMA da pa diyo.

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

A criminal doesn't reveal secrets after 3rd degree.
Police: Ok,play Himesh's songs
Criminal screams: Batata hun,sab batata hun!!!

Jis gali se tum gujro,

Jis raah se gujro,

Kuch aisa kar gujro,

ki

har bar...

har gali se...

1 hi aavaz aaye-

"MARO SAALE KO, PHIR Aa GAYA"

A boy on Date With Gal in BMW. Jaan ! Maine tumse ek baat chupaai hai ki I'm already married.
Girl: Oh GOD! Tumne To dara he dia, main Samjhi ye Car tumhari nahi.

Mummy: Beta kyun ro rahe ho?
Beta: Papa ne mujhe kissi nahi di.
Mummy: Beta, aap ne papa ko tables nahi sunaye honge.
Beta: Kaam wali ko kaun se tables aate hein.

Doctor Santa and Priest loved the same girl. Priest started giving an apple to the girl everyday. Doctor Santa asked: Why? Priest: Coz an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Dr. santa se:badhai ho aapke ghar ladka hua hai.
santa :kya technology hai wife hospital me hai aur ladka ghar per hua hai.

Rawan ko court le jaya gaya, Judge- Apna haath Gita par rakho. Rawan- Sorry, Sita par hath rakh kar itna lafda hua, ab Gita par nhi rakhunga..

santa-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai banta:kaise? santa:Mene"I Luv U"kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai

Santa Beti ki shadi k liye 24saal ka ladka dekne gaya.Vaha se biwi ko fone kiya- oh gal sun!24 da koi munda ni milya.12-12 de 2 chalenge?

Napolean:"In my dictionary there's no word called "IMPOSSIBLE" Santa:"Abi bolne se kya faida,jab kharida tabi barabar dekhna chahie na.

Ek Chota Bacha Bohat Dair Se Ro Raha Tha.
Uski Maa Ne Pocha
Mele Laal Ko Ka Chahiye?
Tofee
Bishkit
Ya
Doodh..?

Bacha:
Bash Ek Nai GIRLFLEND
Khubsurat Shi :->

American child: hello mister
padri reply: u can call me father my child
bucha: acha to tm yaha ghom rahe ho aur mummy kehti he mujhe nhe pata tera baap kon hai

MeMoN: PeNt k' siLaYi KitNi Hy?

TaiLor: Rs. 150.

MeMoN: ChAddi kI?

TaiLor: Rs. 50.

MeMon: Ok. ChAddi Hi sEe dE pAr LaMbAyI pAirOn tAk rAkhNa.:

Ek press wala Laaloji se poonchta hain:

Aap ne apne ghar me 11 bachee kaise kiye?

To Lalooji bole:

Kyunki hum rubber se jyada rabdi ko use kiya hu na!

Pathan Received A Message From His Girl Friend,

“I MISS YOU”

:

:

:

Soch Soch Kar Pathan Ne Reply Kiya,

“I MR. YOU”

Pathan : yeh mera door ka bhai hai..
Man: door ka me samjha nahii
Pathan: es ke aur hamare darmiyan 13 behn bhai hein..

lalu goes to a shop and ask...
"yeh bandarva ki photu kitne ka hai?"
shopkeeper: voh phutwa nahin sahib wo to seesa(mirror) hai

Dil ki dhadkan tej hai,
Saso me bekrari hai,
Dil ki dhadkan tej hai,
Saso me bekrari hai,
Aare! Jaldi check up kara lagta hai....Dame ki bimari hai

Teacher: Bachon kasam khao kabhi Sharab,Cigrte,Ladki inko nahi chuoge, aur desh ke liye jan doge! Bache: de denge sir, aisi jindgi jikar kya karenge.

Santa dialed a no..
A girl answer d phone..
Santa:Hello Kon?.
.
Girl:Mai Sita...
.
Santa:O! teri...
.
Ye to Ayodhya lag gaya

Teacher:kG class ke bachhe se,
1 se 10 tak gino, me aapko KISS karungi…
BACCHA: 1 SE 100 tak ginu to kya package hai..

Santa sote waqt 2 glass rakhte hain.
Ek main paani aur ek Khaali.
Why socho
socho
aur socho
kyunki pyas lag bhi sakti hai aur nahi bhi.

Baap: beta shadi k din susral walay
ghari dein tu suit mang lena.
Scooter dein tu car mang lena,
dokan dien tu ghar
beta: dady larki dein tu oski maa mang lon?

Ek ladki ne ek ladke ko aawaz lagai….
O…Bhai Jaan..Please suneye toh zara….
Ladka bola - Oye…Pahle decide kar Bhai ya Jaan…
confuse kyu kar rahi hai…

Teacher: ITTEFAQ ka koi jumla banao

Pathan: jis din mere baap ka shaadi tha ITTEFAQ se usi din meri maa ka bhi shaadi tha

Santa: Begum aj chicken bahot testy bana hai koi khas masala lagaya hai kya.?


Wife: Nahi murgi jal gai thi to maine BURNOL lagai thi..

1 Larki ne aadhi raat ko Larke ko phone kiya:Ghar ajao ghar per koi nhi hay!
Larka chla gya..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ghar Waqai koi nhi tha TAALA lga huwa tha.

Pathan apni GF k sath Dte pr gya.Ahista se bola:
Mre dil me 1 bat hy mgr kehty hue gbrata hun
GF:bolo
Pthan:I realy realy Luv
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ur Brothr

A Man went 2 NARAK,He saw GandhiJi Dancing with Mallika.Man askd 2 Yamraj:Gandhi ki saza itni mazedar kyo?Yamraj:abe saale Saza Mallika ko milli hai !

Santa Asks Taxi Driver: Golden temple Jaaoge?

Taxi Driver: Haan Jaaunga.

Santa Ne Jeb Se Polythene Nikali aur Kaha "Wapsi pe mere liye Langar Le Aana,,"-)

Innocnt joke of the day... Ek bar terro$ist ne budiya ke pas bomb rakh diya. Log chillaye- "Budiya bomb hai" Woh sharmakar boli 'Aray woh to me jawani m thi

Wife: acha batao car main ghomata hai, icecream khilata hai, restaurant lay jata hai, BOLO BOLO BOLO !!!

Husband: KON MAIN?
Wife: NAHI
HUMARA NAYA PAROSI

Gareeb mariz: Dr, mera paas paise nahi hai,ap mera elaj kr de to kbhi apke kaam aunga

Dr:kya kaam karte ho?


mariz:qabar khodta hun!

aap kitne sundar
*
*
sushil
*
*
saral
*
*
sache hain

aur hum hein ki

jhut pe jhut
bole ja rahe hein..........