Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 14

Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya..

Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?

Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run Baki The Or mai Out Ho Gaya.

Banta:shit Yaar so close.. ;-)

Jay- Is Gabbar Ka Kya Karu,

Veeru- Ise Sui Chubo Chubo Kar Mar Do Aur Sui Is Ke Side Me Rakh Dena,

...Police Samjhegi Sui-Side Ka Case He.

Bivi ne pati ke gale main bahein dalker kaha- Kaisi lag rahi hun main?
pati- bulkul vaisi jaise bhagwan shanker ke gale me nagin latkati ho....

Man to pandit-phir se ladki hui hai naam bataiye
pandit-pehli ladki ka naam kya hai
man-neha
pandit-toh iska naam rakhdo "ek aur neha"

2 cockroach ICU Me 1 dusre k bagal me Admit the.
Pehla cockroach:
"Kya tujhe 'Baygon' se maara?"

DUSRA COCKROACH: Nahi re pagal Paragon se.

Lecturer: What comes first - Sun or Moon?

Student: Obviously Moon.

Lecturer: How?.. Student: Abe Dhakkan Honey'MOON', k baad hi to 'SON' Ayega na...

Adiwasi area me 1 teacher ki posting ho gayi.

Students se unka pehla question- "Pehle wale teacher kaise the..?"

Adiwasi students ka answer-







"Swadisht"

1 BANIYA mrte time bola-Meri Biwi kaha hai.

Biwi-Mai yha hu.

MERA BETA?
Ha papa

Or BETI?
papa hm sb aapke pas hi hai.






TO Haramkhoro DUKAN PE Kaun Hai??

A woman ws kidnapped...
The kidnaper sent a piece of her finger to her husbnd n demanded money...
Husbnd replied- I want more proof
MUNDI BHEJO MUNDI ;-)

GOLU-Agar bibi ke baap ko Sasur kahte H to, Girlfriend ke baap ko kya kahenge

MOLU-:Agar shadi ke liye haa kar di to SASUR nahi to "ASUR" smile pleasse

BOY TO GIRL- MUJHSE FRIENDSHIP KAROGI
GIRL- MERE GHARWALE ALLOW NAHI KARTE
BOY- HA HAAN JAISE MUJHE MERE GHAR WALO NE ASHIQI SOCIETY KI MEMBERSHIP DIL WA RAKHI HAI

AMERICAN LIFESTYLE Daughter-Sorry dad I got married yesterday.I forgot to inform u...
Dad- Its ok my child. But dont forget to invite me the next time...!!

Sir=Tum kis Khandan Se Ho?
Ladka=Janwaro k.
Papa Mujhe Ullu ka Pattha,
Mummy Mujhe Gadha,
Dadaji Sher ka Beta
Aur Dadi Bandar Kehti he

L.K.G boy-tu mujse shadi klegi?
G-nhi
B-kalle na
G-nhi me ni klungi
B-plz kalle teko tophi duga
G-isiliye to ni klni,qk kisi ol se choclt me bat ho lakhi hai...

Science Teachr-Bacho Jinda Rehne K Liye Kya Zaruri Hai?
Boy-Itna B Nahi Pta Mam?
"Jinda Rehne K Liye Teri Kasam Ek Mulaqat Zaruri Hai Sanam"

The biggest joke on Doctors..
Dr. to patient's frnd: Agar 1 ghanta pehle le aate to hum isse bacha lete.
Frnd: Abe saale,
15minute pehle to accident hua..:-

Girl- Nice mobile, where did u buy?
Boy- I won dis in a running race.
Girl- How many people participated?
Boy- MOBILE OWNER, POLICE and ME.

Mariz: Dr Mere Paas Paise Nhi He,

Aap Mera Ilaaj Kar De To Kbhi Apke Kaam Aaunga.

Dr.-Kya Kaam Karte Ho?

Mariz- Qabar Khodata Hu.

Boy-"Dear, look into my eyes,
what do you see?
Tell me quickly!"
Girl-"TRUE LOVE"



Boy-"oye!True love wali,
kachara gaya hai, jaldi phunk mar

Ek Baar Santa Ne Ek Chhote Bache Se pucha- Apke Papa Ka Kya Naam He.?
Bacha Bola- Abhi Naam Nhi Rakha,
Bas Pyar Se Papa-Papa Kehte

SANTA & BANTA Ek Baraat Me Gye
Vaha Unhe bar 2 Pani Diya Jata Hai
us se Tang Aa Kr
Santa-Halaq Me Pani Phans Gaya Hai
Thode Chaval De Do.

teacher-cow humari mata hi tabi 1 studnt widow se bahr dekh raha tha. teachr-tum baahar kya dek rahe ho? stdt-sir aapki maa k piche kutte pade h.

Sher sherni ko kiss krne lga Sherni ne rok dia or idhr udhr dekhne lagi
Sher: kya hua?

Shreni -Dekh rhi hu aas pas Discovery wale to nhi hai!

In HARYANA:Mam-Hanuman kiska chora tha?
Stdnt-Jaat ka
Mam-Wo kaise?
Stdnt-Uske kaam jatto aale the,ladai kise ki thi, lugai kise ki, pucchad apni fukwai.

Santa baalon k saath saath kandhe pe b shampo laga rha tha.ye dekh k wife boli-kya kr re ho?
Santa-ye koi aam shampo nai hai ye Head & shoulder hai.

Girl-Wo SMS pe SMS Kr rha Tha

Maine Kaha
Aaj Itna Pyar KisLiye

Boy-Ye Pyar Nhi Pagli
Kal msg Pack ki Expiry He Isliye.

Boy:Aisa krte hain experiment ke tor pr shadi krte hn agr hmne mahsus kia k hm se ghalti hogai ha to hm hansi khushi alg ho jain ge
Grl:Or ghälti ko pehle kare gä kon?

Jailor-Tum Kis Jurm Me Aye Ho?
Santa-Bas kuch khaas nahi jailor saab,Sarkar Se Competition Ho Gaya Tha

J- Kis Baat Ka?

S- Note Chhapne Ka.

Santa: Wife Agar Husband Ko Naukar Smajhe To Husband Ko Kya Karna Chaiye ?
Banta: Zayda Kuch Nahi
Do Char Ghar Aur Dekh Lene Chahiye

1ladke ne 1ladki ko dekh kar arz kiya
Tere smile me kya chamk he
Tere smile me kya chamk he

wo muskura k boli
MERE TOOTHPASTE ME NAMAK HAI