Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 15

Advocate-Talak kar wane k 5000 lagenge.
Men-Pagal ho kya? Panditji ne 51 me shadi karye thi.
Advocate-To saale dekh liya na saste kam ka natiza.

A Man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary & his wife did not speak to him for 3 months!

Was the necklace fake?

No,that was the Deal.

Boy-Ro Q rhi ho?


Grl-Mere marks bahut kam aaye h.



Boy-Bata kitne aye h?



Grl-Sirf 88%

Santa- yar mujhe ajeeb msg aya or mera mobile off ho gaya!!
Banta- kya lekha tha.?
Santa- battery low..
Banta- mujhe send kar sab ko tang karunga!!!

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .
Then, what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Girl: muzpe shayari karo na..
shayar: ye resham si julphe karti hai andhera..
ye resham si julphe karti hai andhera..
Ho ja takli aur kar de savera

Principal: I tried ur number so many times,it said switched off..!!!!
Student said:"ya itz my CALLER TUNE"
Principal shock....!!
Student roXx....!

Pati ke marane ke 2re din
patni ne paper me advtz diya
mere pati ki antim
yatra me aane ke liye
sub ko thanks.
Kavita
(Age-32, Hight- 5ft 2inch,
Rang-Gora, NO-Child)

Santa: I am feeling rather homesick.
Banta: But you are at home.
Santa: I know. But I am sick of it

Man: Doctor my wife recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help her to get it back?
Doctor: Try to come home at 3 in the morning.

Ek bacha mummy se pitne k bad apne papa se!
Papa kabhi aap Egypt gaye ho?



Papa:Nahi beta



Bachcha: Phir itni khaufnaak mummy kahan se le aaye.

Ek chor chori karne ek ghar me ghusa:

Malik-Kaun hai..??
Chor-Miyaau
Malik-Kaun hai..??
Chor-Miyaau
Malik-Kaun hai..??
Chor-Saale billi hun billi.....!!

Girl- Ladka kaisa he..?
Brother-Ladka achha he,Engineering kiya he,
Dikhne me FILM ka HERO Lagta he..!
Girl : kaun si FILM ka HERO ?

" PAA"

Teacher- Ladki ka paryavachi batao. Boy- Maal. Teacher- Wo kaise? Boy- Shashtron me likha hai ladki laxmi ka roop hoti hai, aur laxmi matlab Maal.

Teachr 2 studnt-past, present, future ka 1example me deti hu or 1tum do
Tchr-"m sundr thi,sundr hu,sundr rhungi.
Stdnt-apko vham tha,vham h or vham rhega.

Boy: I like that girl. His friend: she has a boy friend. Boy: look. A goal post always has a goalkeeper, but that doesn't mean you can't score goals.

Math ki ladki ki gaali:saale dharti pe unsolved eq,trignometry k undefined angle,vector k dubl product,kutte itna diferntiate krungi k kbi intergrt nhi ho paega

When man's wife died he changed his name to Rajesh B.A (bachelor again). He got married again. Guess his new name? Rajesh M.A (married again).

English class-kid: Me sleep with dad last night Madam corrected : NO beta,I slept with dad last night..

Kid : Aap mere sone k baad aayi hogi..

Baniya : kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : to kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!

Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?
Tailor-150 rs.
Snta- Aur nikkar ki?
Talor -50 rs.
Santa- Chal nikkar hi sil de or lambai pairon tak rakhiyo..gm.

Beta : Papa,ye Girlfrnd kya hoti hai ?
Papa: jab tum bade ho kar aacha ladka banoge to tumhe b 1milegi..
Beta: agar aacha nahi bana to ?
Papa : to bahot milengi..

Master-
Maine Tujhe Kutte pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha tha,
Likh K kyu nai Laye?

Santa-
Masterji,
Jaise hi Maine Kutte pe Pen Rakha wo Bhag gaya.

Patni ne kaha- Tum mujhe pehle jaisa pyar nahi karte, shadi se pahle to pados ki chhat se kudkar mujhse milne aate the, Pati bola- ab sochata hu ki usi chhat se kud jau.

Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?

Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai

Santa-wo kaise?

Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai

Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.

Gajodhar:Hello amma khush khabri he!
Amma-Ka he?
Gajodhar-Amma hum 2 se 3 ho gye he!
Amma-Ldka hua ki ldki?
Gajodhar-Nahi tuhar bahuriya 2sri shadi kr li hai.

Doctor: which soap u use? Santa: Gopal soap,Gopal paste,Gopal brush Dr: Is gopal an international company Santa: No gopal is my room mate .

kbi aisa hua ki
phul khile aur khusbu na ho
badal bane aur baarish na ho
phir ye kaise ho sakta hai ki
aap yaad kae aur hame ehsaas na ho
hai na.........

:
Teacher: Wich was 1st Silent Hindi Movie?


student: If Movie was silent how could u know it was Hindi?



Teacher shcks student Rcks

Snta k bete ka accident hua
Doc:Apke bete ki 2no leg katni padegi
Snta sir pakad lia
D:Kya hua?
Snta:Kal hi Nalayk ko nyi chapal dilayi thi.