Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 13

Ram lanka jeet k vapas laute tab soorpnakh ; Prabhu mere kya hoga ?
RAM : Kalyug me ayodhya par raj karegi,lekin teri shadi phir bhi nahi hogi..
Naam hoga..
" MAYAWATI"

Teacher: Y r u late?
Student: Mom n dad were fighting.
T: They were fighting,so u are late?
S: Actually 1 shoe was with dad and the other was with mom.

A boy gives a LOTUS to a girl to impress her
the girl slaps the boy.

boy ask why

girl- you give me bjp symbol
so i give u congress symbol

Rocky -vicky tu tina ko line marna 6od de .Vicky-kyu ?Rocky- kyunki uska 1 boyfriend he .Vicky- usme kya hua , fotball me bhi goalkeeper hota he fir bhi samne vali team goal marti he na .

Ladka: Hey bhagwan!Kisi samajhdar ladki ko meri g.frnd bana do.Bhagawan:Ghar chale jao beta,Samajhdar ladki kabhi boyfrnd nai banati.

A muslim couple after divorce.
Husband:- ab hamare beech koi rishta nahi bacha hai.
Wife:- aise mat bolo salim k abba.
Hum abhi bhi mousere bhai-behen hai...

Suhag raat me santa cnfuse ho gya ki nayi biwi se kya bolu..?
Akhir me bola- aapke ghrwalon ko malum hai, ki aap yahan mere saath ho?

Sir: Chalo Newton's law batao..?

SANTA: Sir Mujhe pura nahi bas last ka aata hai.

Sir: chalo utna hi batao..

SANTA:-".. And dis is called d Newton's law"

Bunty film dekhne jane se pehle apni biwi ko 1 paan kharid kar deta he.Biwi: Apne liye b kharidlo.
Bunty:Mai paan ke bina b chup rehsakta hu

Santa: agar me Bus pe chadu ya Bus mujh pe chade,
dono me kya fark hai?

Banta:koi fark nai,

Dono bar ticket teri hi kategi.

Mouse To Elephant: 2 Din K Liye Apni Kameez Dena. Elephant: "Ha....Ha....Ha..... Pehney Ga Kya ??" Mouse: Nahe,Beti Ki Shadi Hay, Tent Lagwana Hay..

Santa- Kal Raat Ko party main maine ek ladki ko RAPE se Baachaya.
Banta -Wah Bhai Par Kaise??

Santa-Self Control Yaar Self Control !!

Nikah K Bad Dulha: Fees? Molvi: Bv Ki Khubsurti K Mutabiq Dedo Dulha Ne 10 Rupay De Diye Achank Hawa Se Lrki Ka Ghunghat Uth Gya Molvi: Baqaya To Lelo Bhai

Teacher to Student: Agar main tumhari maa hoti
to main tujhe 2 din mein sudhaar deti ...

Student: Madam main hune ja ke apne
Bapu nu dasda ki teri Lottery lag gi oye..........

A Man 2 A Lady In A Crowded Bazar:
I’ve Lost My Wife,
Will U Plz Talk To Me
For A Few Minutes
Lady:
Why
Man:
Coz, Whenevr I Talk To Ladies,
She Apears From Somewhere.

Santa:-Agar Teri Bivi Ko Bhootni Lipat Jaye, To Tu Kya Karega?
Banta:-Mujhe Kya Karna ! Ye Do Behno Ka Aapsi Mamla Hai

Aik Aadmi Ki Biwi Sey Sawal Kia Geya Key Aapko Konsi Book Sab Sey Ziada Pasand Hai? Biwi: Apney Husband Ki Cheque Book….

Wife : Agar Main Mountain Everest Pe Chadhun Toh Aap Mujhe Kya Doge ?




Husband : Pagli, Isme Pucchne Wali Kya Baat Hai..


"DHAKKAA !"

Teacher: Hero Bhadur Hota Hai, Heroin Khubsurat Hoti Hai, Tum Kia Banna Chahtey Ho? Bhadur Ya Khubsurat? Student: Dono, Yani . . . "Heroinchi"

Things in Boys
room b4 marrge

Perfumes,
Luv lettrs,
Gifts,
F'shp bands,
Cards,
Snaps

After marriage-
Painkillers,
Loan papers
Unpaid bills.

Teacher: DELHI May Kutubminaar Hai.. A Student Was Sleeping.. Teacher Wakes Him Up & Asks: "Wht Did I Say"? Student: "Delhi Mey Kutta Bimar Hai" :-)

Snta K Tange Nili Ho Gyi,
Dr: Zeher h Katni Padegi.
Tang Kat Kr nakli Laga Di.
2Din Bad, Nakli Tange B Nili Pad Gyi.
Dr: Ab Bimari Smjh Ayi JEANS Rang chorti h.

Boy To Gym Coach: I Wanna Impress Cute Girl I'm Gonna Meet In 3 Days. Which Machine Should I Use? . . . . . . . . . Coach: Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym!...

Sonu: Ladki fasaani aati hai. Monu: Nahi. Sonu: Kagaz ka jaahaz banake class room mein uda de, Madam puche to ladki ka naam lagade, bas ladki phas gayi.

Man Knows Man’s Nature…
Customer:
I Need A Ladies Suit…
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Shopkeeper:
Begum K Liye Chahiye Ya Koi Acha Sa Dikhaon?

Boy: Bade Zalim hain teri Gali k bache.
Girl: kya hua..





Boy: Kutte piche laga k kehte hain,
PYAR KIYA TO DARNA KYA.

Ek hotel me naye shaadi shuda jodon k liye ek line likhi hui thi:"Khidki par parde daal dijye" Aapka pyaar andha ho skta hai," Magar humara staff nahi'...

Man:
Among My 4 Sons 3 R MBA’s.
Friend:
4th?
Man:
He Didnt Study & Became A Barber
Friend:
Y D0nt U Throw Him Out?
Man:
Woi To
GHAR Ka Kharcha Chala Raha Hai..

Teacher- What is Ur Father?

SANTA- I.C.S In Summer & P.C.S In Winter

Tchr-What?

SNTA- Icecrem Seller In Summer& Pakoda Chat Seller In Winter

Aik Pagal Dosray Pagal Say: Tum Kis Din Paida Howay? Dosra Pagal: Itwar Ko. Pehla Pagal: Tum Mujay Pagal Bana Rahay Ho Itwar Ko To Choti Hoti Hay Ha...