Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 29

Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.

Funny Hindi Man: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali, Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.

In an interview for a Govt. job.
Chairman: What can you do well?
Candidate: Nothing.
Chairman: Good. You are the right person for this job.

Osama's Son was Poor in maths
Osama Hired a Teacher for him:---

On Very first Day:===
Teacher to Osama's son: how u would divide 4 apples among 5 people ???

Osama's Son: By Killing an Extra Man...

Banta: why it is said that children brighten a home?
Santa: That is because they never turn any of the lights off.

Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate hai..



Wo likhte hai:---
"Maine to Loot Liya tu bhi Loot le..."

Jeeto: Son, why did you fall in that mud wearing your new trousers?
Pappu: Because there was no time to take them off.

BOY- Mere papa k aage amer se amer log tak katori le ke khade rehte hai. GIRL- aise kitne amer ho tum? BOY- Actually papa gol-gappe ki redi lagate hai. :-)

interviewer to santa : tumhari sabse badi shakti kya hai?
santa : ji meri biwi.
interviewer : aur sab se bdi kamzori?
santa : ji dusre ki BIWI.

Santa kadi chawal kha rha tha , ek makhi us par baithne ki koshish kar rahi thi, ye dekh santa bola- hat hat ye woh nhi hai jo tu samajh rahi hai....

Bacha Ghar se Maar khakar Skul ja raha tha.
Raste me kisi ne Pucha-:Beta Padhte ho?"
Bacha bola - "Nahi Dress pahan ke tere Baap ki Shadi me jaa raha hu."

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To Mere Jesi Biwi Nai Milegi..

Husband: Tumhe Kis Ne Kaha K Dusri Bar B Tumhare Jesi He Dhundunga?

Banta dairy likh raha tha
"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki me mama banunga ya mami"

Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."
Banta - "Kya hua?"
Santa - "Jab se Maine kaha 'Dil Cheer ke Dekh tera hi Naam hai' Saali Chaku le ke Piche hi pad gayi hai."

Santa=matlbi dost se bach kr raho. Banta=magr matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega. Santa=simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.

Santa Purani Album Dekhte Hua

Mummy A Photo Me Tumare Sath Smart Koun He?

Mummy : Yeh Tere Pappa He

Santa>To Hum Is Ganje K Sath

Q Rehte He

Man Conducting Marketing Survey Asked A Lady: Which Book Has Helped You Most In Your Life?
Lady: My Husband's "Cheque Book"...!

Santa:Judg saab,mujhe TALAAQ chahiye,meri biwi ne 1saal se mujhse baat nahi ki
Judge:1bar phir sochle beta,aisi biwi nasib walon ko milti hE…

Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya, lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao..

Jeeto: My husband`s career is in the ruins.
Preeto: Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
Jeeto: There is nothing to be sorry about. He is an Archaeologist

Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.

Boyfriend: Voh to theek hai... par hum se shaadi karega koun?

patni-agar me ghum ho jau to tum kya karoge....
('.')
>) (>
_/ /_

pati- Its the time to disco.
kaun dhundega tujhko, kabhi na mile tu mujhko...

husband-talak lena hai,
advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi kari thi.
advocate-dekh liye na saste ka natija.....

pati patni ki zabardast ladai ke bad patni bhagwan se boli
"agar ye galat he to inhe uthalo aur agar me galat hu to mujhe vidhwa bana do".

Ek operation ke baad patient bola:
''doctor sahab Kya ab main aap logo se mukt hu?''

Beta doctor to neeche reh gye, main to chitrgupt hu...

Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=Ye kaise Hua? Santa=Mai Hatho Se Patthar Tod rha Tha,To kisi ne kaha"Paaji kabhi to Dimag Istemal karo"...?

Dad:result ka kya hua

Son:aba aik good news hai aur aik bad news

Dad:good news bata

Son:mai pass ho gya

Dad:GREAT aur bad news

Son:good news galat hai. ;->

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

K ab kia kro gay?

Pathan

bachpan se aik khuwab hy

k hum apna tandoor khole GA.

Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole "Who is speaking?". jawab aaya "Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun".

Pathan ny chalange kiya k

Woh minar-e-pakistan ko apne sar par utha kar peshawar ja sakta hai.

Hazaron log ikthay ho gaye...

Pathan bola: bus isey utha kar mere sar par rakho tum....:-

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??
Pathan: Google Khan

Teacher: ye kia naam hoa bhla!!
Pathan: ham jahan marzi hon wo mujhe dhond leta ha....