Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 32

Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life

Teacher-"Aise koi 5 animal ke naam batao jo pani me rahte hai.."
Student:-"Fish,
Fish ki Mummy,
Fish ke Papa,
Fish ka bhai,
Fish ki Sister..."

….If Jayalalita Wins
in the Next Election
and Becomes the
CM again,
What would the
Public say.?

?

?

“The Mummy Returns”

Banta: Me naya FM Radio laya hun ye chalata bahut achha hai
Santa: Abe ghonchu, mujhe bewakoof mat bana, ye chalega kaise iske to panv hi nahi hai

Santa: Bakri se door bhag raha tha
Banta: Bhag kyon rahe ho
Santa: Mere Papa ne kaha tha mere dimag me bhoosa bhara hai, soch raha hun kahin ye kha na jaye

Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?

studnt:No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam’s pharray (Cheating material) today:-)

EK VILLAGE KI AURAT CHEQUE CASH KARANE GAYI
CLERK;SIGN KRO
AURAT:KAISE?
CLERK:JAISE KHAT K END ME LIKHTI HO.
AURAT NE SIGN KIYA "TOHAR MUNNE KI AMMA"

sholay.ki team ne ipl me hissa liya


gabber k bowlers ne 20 over me 350 run diye &usme extras 200 run diye.

batao kyu?


q ki wicket keeper thakur tha

teacher 2 santa-tum me kuch kamiya hai
santa next day coat pant pehan k aata hai
teacher- what is this?
santa-raymond,the complete man.

Doctor-"Kamjori hai, Fruite khaya karo chilke sahit."
after 1 hour,,,
Santa-"Mere Pet me Dard ho raha hai."
Doctor-"Kya khaya tha..?"
Santa-"Nariyal chilke sahit...."

1 pagal aadmi bahut der se chand ko dekh rha tha.
aur thodi der baad bola jalte raho beta,
jab bijli ka bill aayega tab pata chalega.

According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??
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ANS:
HOLI.
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How?
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Coz....
He Keeps Saying...
"Holi CUB hai,
CUB hai Holi...."

Santa - "Aisi konsi chiz hai jo Lal hai or trin trin karti hai."
Banta - "Telephone"
Santa - "Galat"
Banta - "to phir"
Santa - "Tamatar.... trin trin to confuse karne ke liye bola tha."

Mother: Little Missy, do you know what happens to girls who always tattle on other kids or spread lies about them?



Little Missy: Sure, they grow up to be rich gossip columnists...!!!

Profeser : Tum 20 Saal ki Ladki se Shadi karoge ya tumse 20 saal badi ladki se...?
Student : Sir Depend karta hai ki kaun jyada khubsurat hai, apki Beti ya apki bivi....

Pathan Apne 1 Saal K Bache Ko Hosptal Le Kr Gya

Dr: Isko Koi Sakht Cheez To Nai Khelai?

Pathan: Nai Kal Yeh Bohat Ro Rha Tha To Bas 1 Chutki Naswar Di Thi

Teacher:Bada Ho K Kya Banoga


Santa:Pilot

Tcher:Q


S:Upar Accedent Ka Khatra Nhi Hota

Santa galati se Sansad me chala gaya wanha upper kursi pe baithe huye se pucha

Tum kaun ho ho?
usne jawab diya : ME Speaker hun
Santa: jor se bola, to phir me Loud Speaker hun

Monty: My wife is mad at me again.

Bartender: Why is that?

Monty: When I opened the front door this morning, her mother was on the step with her suitcases. She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"

I said, "NO PROBLEM!" and shut the door.

Santa: RIM ka connection lene gaya
Call rate bataye
1 pase per sec.
50 paise per min.
1 rupee per 3 min.
Santa: 1 rupee wala hi sahi hai roj khulle kahan se launga

Jack: Promise me that when I die, I'll be buried way out at sea, with nothing around for miles.

Rose: Why would you want that?

Jack: Because your mother vowed to dance on my grave.

Santa: Office jate waqt Rumal, Chasma & Mobile bhool gaya
Niche se wife ko bala de do
Wife ne Chasma phenka toot gaya, Mobile phenka toot gaya

Santa: Tum rahne do me rumaal lene upper hi aa raha hun

Santa tapasya karta hai

Bhagwan: var mango vats
Santa: Ye kya kiya aapne, me to vadhu ke liye tapsya kar raha tha

1 Pathan chilkay samait KELA kha raha tha

kisi ne usko toka

Is ko cheel to lo

Pathan bola: cheelne ka kya zarorat hai hum ko malum hy

is K andar KELA hi ha!

Pagal chinese se: tum american ho?
Chinese: nhi main chinese hu!
Pagal: nhi tum american ho.
chinese gusse me: haan main american hu Pagal: lagte to chinese ho.

GOLU England Mai Club Me Chala Gaya,

Wahan Ja K Khoob Naacha,

Dance Karny K Bad Bola,

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O Yara Koi Hum Ko Ye To Bataye K Ye SHADI Kis Ka Hai

Master To Student:
A B C D Se Shuru Honay Walay Alphabets Se Sentence Banao.?

Student:

A=Apni
B=Beti ka
C=Cell Number
D=Dijiye

1 Elaan ho raha tha - "Ek Baccha mila hai, Jin ka hai aa kar le jaye."
Santa aya aur kehne laga - "Mujhe bhi dikhao JIN ka bacha kaisa hota hai...."

DUKANDAAR: iss bori pay mat baithna, phat jaye gi!

Gahak: kyun, iss main Ghubaray hain?

Dukandaar: nahi… "KEEL" hain

1 ladka - "Mere Papa itne lambe hai ki khade khade chalte FAN ko rok dete hai."
2 ladka - "Mere papa bhi lambe hai, lekin aisi chutia harkate nhi karte."