Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 41

Santa to banta: Yaar koi aisa gift bataa jo seedha teri bhabi ke dil per lage...



Ruk sochne de

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Banta: Goli mar de [?]

Sheikh ka beta girl friend k sath ghoom k ghar aya
to baap ne pocha, kitnay paisay kharch kiye?
Beta : 50 rupye.
Baap : itnay saray?
Beta : Abba us k pass 50 he tahe.

Santa 500 k note pe likha number dial kr rha tha. Banta = kya kr rhe ho? Santa= mai dekh rha hu, gandhiji to chale gye par unka mobile kiske pass hai?

wife: bas karo kitna karoge? raat se kar rahe ho.
thaky nahi abhi tak?
husband: raat se kar raha hoon to kiya hua
aaj to main pora din karonga.
SMS itne saste jo hogaye hain.

Husb: Aj Koi Aysi Bat Kho., Jisse Dil Khush b ho Jaye or Jal b Jaye., Wife: Apke k sb Frnd's me sb se Acchi KISS Krne ka Style Apka h..

teacher: boys aap ko aamir khan aur kajol ki film
fana se kiya lesson mila?
student: andhi, kani, langri, jo bhi mile,
phansa leni chahye.

ek murgi ne 3 ande diye aur dua ki ya Allah
mere bache naik niklain
to pehle andey main se bacha namaz parhta hua nikla,
dosra bacha tasbih parhta hua nikla,
tesra nahi nikla to murgi pareshan hogai
aur us ne bache ko awaz di to anday main se awaz aai
k main etqaf main betha hoon.

pathan girl friend ko ghar le gaya,
sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,
parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha
dekho humara watch main light jalta hai.

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain. 10% interest ke hisab se voh 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?

Bania's son: Kutch bhi nahi.

Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.

Bania's funny son: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.
ek admi ne pocha kya hua?
Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka opreation
karwane aata hai aur baal katwa k chala ata hai.

Funny Lalu found answer to the most difficult question ever: What came first- the chicken or the egg?

"Hum jiska order pehle dunga, vahi pehle ayega na!"

ek pathan k janaze main log bhangra daal rahe tahe.
wajha pochi to ek pathan ne bataya k
pehli dafa hum main se koi
Brain Hambrige se mara hai

SHADI MEANS-:
S-SHANTI BHANG
H-HIMMAT KHTAM
A-AAJADI SAMAAPTA
D-DIMAG KHARAB
I-IN "MAN'S" LIFE

Father: shaadi bachon ka khel nahi
Son: haan pata hai mujhe,
Father: kiya pata hai?
Son: yahi k shadi badon ka khel hai
jo bachon k liye khela jata hai

Teacher: Radio or akhbar main kia farq hai? Pathan (bohat soch k): Dekho madam, Akhbar mein hum Rotiyan la sakta hai, Magar Radio mein nahi.

1 pthan ne 1 molvi se kch pucha

Molvi ne 2 thapar lagy
1 admi ne pthan se pucha tumne kya bola molvi ko?
Pthan:Mne srf pucha K
Valentine day ki nmaz kahan ho gi

Papa beti sa:-
Beti pehlay to tum mujhey papa kehti thein,
Laik ab tum mujhey DaD kehti ho,kion?
Beti:-
Oh DaD, PaPa kehnay say lipstic kharab hoti hay

1 boy ki G.Frnd ny usy lettr likha, mujse milny 1 lrka aya hy,tumsy kahin acha hy,mei us se shadi karungi meri pic wapis bijhwa do
larky ny apne sary doston ki G.F ki 30 pics jama ki,drmyan me uski pic rkh k lettr likha,
lo,in mei sy nikal lo,me tmhari shakal bhool gya hn!!!

What's the similarity beween Marriage & 11.59pm?
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Simple dono ke bad 12 bajte Hai...... Aur.....Din badal jate hain..!!!!!!!

A Small child: Papa ap kisi larki ko pyar krte he?
Papa: Haan tumhari maa se.
Child: Bare badmaash ho ghar me hi chakar chalaya howa ha.....'

Teacher- Tumhaare Ghar mein Sab se Chhota Kaun hai?? Student- Mere Papa.. Teacher- Wo Kaise?? Student- Wo Aaj bhi Mummy ke Saath Sote hai..

Bhikari:
Hello , Pizza Hut?

Pizza Hut:
Yes Sir

Bhikari:
1 Large Pizza Or 1 Litre Pepsi Bhej Do

Pizza Hut:
Sir Kis Ke Naam Se Bhejoon?

Bhikari:
Allah Ke Naam Pe Dede Baba!'

Lady to Doctor: mera beta motar cycle se gir gaya hai.
Doctor: I can't understand please speak in English.
Lady: my londa is gironda from HERO HONDA. :P

'Bacha:
Mene Hathi K Samne 12 Apple Rakhe
Usne 11 Khaye Aik Q Nhi Khaya?

Aadmi:
Hathi Ka Pait Bhr Gya Hoga.

Bacha:
Nhi
12wa Apple Plastic Ka Tha.

Acha Dubara Mene Hahti K Samne
12 Apple Rakhe To Us Ne Aik B Nhi Khaya Q?

Aadmi:
Saare
Apple Plastic K Honge.

Bacha:
Nhi Galat
Is Dafa Hathi Plastic Ka Tha.'

Ek admi chupkay se jahanum se nikala aur jannat main
chala gaya. Frishtay ne pakar kar khob mara.
Maar khanay k baad admi utha, kapray jharray aur bola:
Tumhari in he harkaton ki wajha se koi jannat main nahi ata.

Girl:- My heart like a mobile in that u r a sim card.
Boy:- I m very happy.
Girl:- Don’t be too happy
if I get a new offer I will change the sim card

Man : my wife is too good.
She can talk on any subject for hours.
Friend : Ahh!!! my wife is better,
She does not even need a subject to talk about.

santa ki bewi mar gai--sardar ji kafan leny gia---dukandar nay kafan ka kaprra dia-----santa kuch bola ,, jisay sun ky dukandar bay hosh ho gia..
santa.. is may aur colors dikawo

Bus conductor: Why are taking two tickets?
Passenger: Because if i lose one that second ticket will save me.
Conductor: what if you lose both?
Passenger: Listen, I am not a fool. I already have my Pass with me.!!!

Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.
janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?
Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.
Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.
Husband : peche line main lago. :