Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 44

Hi I sent u many msgs but I've not received even a single msg frm u,
So I'll delete ur number,
Good bye.
Santa sent dis msg 2 customer care.

Written outside a temple:
Q: Why should we believe in GOD?
A: Because there are still some questions which cannot be answered by GOOGLE.

Teacher : Who is Ur Favorite Writer?

RAAZ : Ur Daughter.

Every Week She Give Me a Nice Love Letter

Santa Is Not Sleeping With His Wife! These Days
Guess Why?
Because Somebody Had Told Him That
It Is Wrong To Sleep With Married Women.

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say that she's no good

English Teacher : Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid:" Yeah , once my sister said she has missed one ,my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack and our driver ran away."

Once a boy asked god-"Is it wrong to sleep with a girl before marriage...??"
God replied..."No its not, but the problem is that you guys dont sleep...."

Santa: Banta! There's a bomb in my garden!
Banta: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

Lady: Is this my train..?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the railway company..
Lady: Don’t try to be funny.
I mean to ask if I can take this train to Karachi..!
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy… ;->

Santa: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Banta: simple! I get up early.

A Man: “your mother-in-law fell into my pond
Which has some crocodiles into”.
The other man – “the crocodiles are yours,
So you’ll have to save them”.

Girl:Will you still love me when my hair turns to silver. Boy:Did not I love you through four other shades?

Blind Date
“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
“Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”
“Wow! That’s a very expensive classic car. What’s so bad about that?”
“He was the original owner.”

Girl: NOBODY can stop me, I’ll send u sms till,

Boy: My death?
Girl: No
Boy: Your death?
Girl: No
Boy: World exist?
Girl: No
Boy: Oxygen available?
Girl: No

Girl: Truly speaking till SMS is free

doctor- i have some bad news and some very bad news.
patient- give me the bad news first.
doctor- the lab called with your test results. u have 24 hours to live.
patient.- that's terrible! what could b more worse than this?
doctor- i have been trying to reach u since yesterday!

U r 20% Fantastic,
U r 20% Attractive,
U r 20% Loveable,
U r 20% Terific,
U r 20% Understandable,

Inshort U r 100% F.A.L.T.U.

JUDGE:WHY did U Shoot Ur Wife instead of shooting her LOVER?MAN:Ur Honour, it's Easier 2 Shoot a WOMAN once,than ----SHOOTING a Man Every Month

(Santa was SHOPPING)
.
.
Shopkeeper: sir, Do u want a POCKET CALCULATOR.?
.
Santa: No thanks. I know how many pockets i have..!

Abe Dheere bol,
Yaha tk awaz aa rhi h

A Beggar Askd Santa:
"I havn't Tastd Food All Week.."

Santa: "Dn't Worry, It Stil Tastes d Same.."

Santa goes 2 a Library & asks 4 book 'Psyco - The Rapist'
The Librarian searches 4 a while cums back slaps & says"

Idiot,the book is called Psycotherapist..

Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE?
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.

A SAYING- 'Sorrow is ur constant companion!
Happiness comes & goes!'
Santa agrees- 'My wife is always vd me! Her sister comes & goes!!' ;-)

Girlfriend to Boyfriend: The time has come when we should get married.
Boyfriend: That's OK, but who will marry us?

patient:iam feeling dizzy for one hour after waking up
doctor:then get up one hour later than the usual time you get up..

Why are American names like Jackson, Wilson, Markson, Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davison, Jemson?
So that mom can remember who is whose son.

Son: Daddy, 4+3 how much?

Santa: Idiot, you don’t know anything? Go and bring the calculator from inside. I will teach.

CIA: why criminals leave their fingerprints after doing their work?

Recruit: Sir, I Think they are illiterate, if they were literate,
they would leave their signature for u..

3 Men are arguing about "When life begins.."
1st: At the time of conception
2nd: At the time of birth
3rd: When wife and children go for vacation!

Devils went to Court to Prove
that he is The Most,
Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth.

But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked,
Yaar ye “ALTAF BHAI” kon hai?

Santa: Doctor! My son swallowed a key!
Doctor: When?
Santa: Three months ago
Dr: What were you doing till now?
Santa: We were using aduplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Santa: We lost the duplicate key!