Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 36

Sonu- Abe, Tune School Aana Q Chhod Diya

Monu- Yaar, Actually Mere Dad Keh Rahe The Ke
1 Jagah Bar Bar Jane Se Izzat Kam Ho Jati Hai

maa - beta mojhe vikram betal ki fils dekhni hai
neta = woh vikram betal nahi woh bacchans ki paa film hai

boy: my girlfriend left me and sent me a picture of her wid her new boyfriend
friend:how sad :( , wat did u do
boy:simple i sent dat sms to her dad!!!!!!
BE INNOVATIVE

Pappu: Papa Iron kyon kar rahe ho
Santa: Iron karne se salwat nikal jaate hain
Pappu: Phir to bahoo achha Papa main Dadaji ke Gaal ke salwat nikaal dunga

Banta Bank Manager se
Mera Loan pass kar do
Manager: Is file per wajan nahi hai
Banta: Apna joota rakh deta hai, aur poochhata hai mera loan pass ho jayega

Biwiya apne pati ko"A.G" Q kehti hai?Q k biwiya izzatdar hoti hai,bahar bazar me"ABE GADHE"Nahi bol sakti isiliye short me AG bolti hai

Govt. School k Bachhe Kisi ko Ghaseet k School le ja rhe the
Ye dekh 1Aadmi bola:Jane do Beta,Ye Khud School aa jyga.
Bachhe:Ye Bachha Nai Master Hai ;-)

Teacher:Children whom do u hate The most?
LKG Boy:Rajaram Mohan Roy.
Teacher: oh God!! Y do U hate him?

LKG Boy:He abolished Child Marriage

Santa Banta ki khub pitai hui. Dono kisi Birthday Party me muft ka khana khate hue pakde gye the Kehne lage- Hum ladki walo ki taraf se he...

ladki ka baap-tum mere ladki se kitne mahine se pyaar karte ho.


Boy-char mahine se .

Baap-main kaise maanu.

Boy-aur paanch mahine ruko,yakin ho jaayega

Ek Sardar Restaurant me soup Pi raha Tha.
Boy : Sardar G Soup Wich Makhi Ae....
Sardar : Dil wadda Kar Yaar. Makhi ne Kina Pee lena ae.

SANTA Ur Son Is Dead
After Hearng dis

Santa Jumps Frm50th Flor
35Flr He Realizs:I Dont Hav Son
20Flr:I m Not Marrid
&
3rdFlr:SHIT I m Banta

1Machar ki shadi Makkhi se hui , Raat ko Machar bahar baitha tha To dusre Machar ne poocha kya hua?
Machar bola "Yaar Teri bhabhi ALL OUT laga ke so rahi hai".

Tution sir:
Abey Gadhey, Homework kyun nahi karta hai tu!

Modern Student:
Tameez Se Baat Kar, Saale Customer se aise baat karte hai kya?..?

2 frenz aftr exam1st:Xam kaunsa tha?2nd:May b Maths1st: Matlab tu xam kr k aya h?2nd:Nhi yaar sath wali Ladki k hath me calculatar tha..

Lalu: Vidwaano ne kaha hai Ki "MURKH KI BIWI BAHUT SUNDAR HOTI HAI.
Rabadi: "Dhat! Aapke paas to hamaar taarif k alawa kauno kaam nahi hai!..

Police high alert k time Santa ke ghar talasi lene gai.
Police-Khabar h k apke ghar me Vishfotak samgri h.
Santa-"Sir" vo maike gai hui h.

1 gareeb ladke ki shaadi ho rhi thi.
Pandit: kaho main apni patni koo apna sab kuch dene ki shapat leta hun...
peeche se awaaz aayi "lo bechaare ki cycle bhi gye"...

Bhakt: Bhagwn mujhe Drd do, Dukh do, Tension do,Mujhe Barbad kardo, Mere piche har muskil laga do..
Bhgwn: Abe sale sidha- bolna, tujhe ek "grlfrnd" chahiye……

Santa Delhi se Meerut ja raha hota hai
Suddenly Santa bolta hai: Jaldi chalao, fast nahi to hame kachhe raste se jana parega
Driver: Kyon
Santa: are bewkoof padha nahi, Ye sarak to Haridwar jaane wali hai, pata nahi kabh chali jaye

Banta: yaar me kal Bitch per ghoomane gaya tha.
Santa: Ajib baat hai, tu kutti per baith kar ghoomane gaya phir bhi usne katta nahi

Feron k waqt Pandit n mehmano s puchha: Kisi ko iss shaadi pe aitraaz to nahi?
1 shaks: Mujhe hai !
Pandit: Tum chup raho, Tum dulhe ho!

Accident hua, bheed ho gayi! Santa ko age aane ka mouka nhi mil raha tha! Santa chillaya- Hay mera bapu! Sbne aage jaane diya... Dekha toh Kutta mara pada tha...:)

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals ruled?
Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

Pappu-
Miss Aap Ne Kal Mujhe
Call Ki Thi

Teacher-
Main Ne To Koi
Call Nahi Ki

Pappu-
To Phir Mere Mobile
Pe Kyu Likha Tha
1 Miss call..

A Man Meet A Friend After A Long Time N Notices He Is Wearing An Ear-Ring. "When Did U Start
Wearing Ear-Ring"
He Replies" Ever Since My Wife Found One In My Car"

Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?

A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink....

Kaidi- Try karna mujhe umr kaid ho, faansi nahi..
Santa- Dont worry!
After court-
Kaidi- Kya hua?
Santa- Bahut mushkil se umr kaid mili hai.. Saale riha kar rahe the!!!!!!! ;-)

ek admi ped ki dal par har roj beth jat tha aur wo pagal ho chuka tha bato kyon







kyonki usne mba ki thi apne ko branch manager samjt tha

Banta In art gallery: ye bhynak tasvir ko aap modern art kahte hai?
Art Dealer: Mere bap tu dimag mat laga ghar ja, ye aaina hai...