Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 35

Banta to Santa: Tumhaare income ka source kya hai
Santa: Maine apne upper ka portion kisi ko rahane kiraye par diya hai
Banta:kamaal hai wo pure din tumaher upper kaise rahata hai

Mourn of a professor: I don mind wen studnts luk at their watch during lectures. Bt I get angry wen they remove their watch & shake it to c if its working..

Biwi, husband se- Tumhe mere rishtedaar pasand nahi!Husband: Kya baat kar rahe ho! Mujhe apni saas se achhi tumhaari saas lagti hai!

Two snakes meet each other..
First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
Second snake:Why?
First snake:Because I bit my lip!

Santa goes for railway reservation
Santa: Mera AC chair car ka reservation kar dena
Railwayman: Seat nahi hai
Santa: Aap reservation kare seat ki chinta na kare, ek kursi me ghar se le lunga.

Preeto: me bahar ja rahi hun aapke liyer coocker me khichari set kar di hai, 2 2 siti laga kar kha lena.
Santa: Muhn se 2 siti laga kar coocker kholta hai aur bolta hai lagata aaj usne mujhe oollu bana diya

father:jao beta meray liye ek glass pani ley k ao.
beta:abu mein nai jasakta, mein game khel raha hun.
2nd beta:choreye abu ye to hai he batamez






















aap khudi ja k pe lein

NURSE-AAPKE JUDWA BACHCHE HUE HAIN. SANTA-YE TO HONA HI THA.PROGRAMME HI AISE HI DEKHTI THI-KBC2,INDIAL IDOL2.DHOOM2. NURSE-ACHCHHA HUA K DELHI6 NAHI DEKHI.

ek larki ney pathan sey kaha
"kiya aap ko pata hai aj womens day hai"
pathan ney ghabra k kaha:
"kamal hai, jab hum ghar sey nikala tab to friday tha";-)

GADHE k samne 1 PANI ki, 1 DARU ki BALTI rakhi.

GADHA PANI P gaya.
POLICE ne SHARABI se puchha:tune isse kya seekha?

SHARABI:jo DARU nahi pita Wo GADHA hai

Premi to premika- "Darling mujhe tumhari aankhon me saari duniya dikhai deti hai.."
Peeche se ek budhha bola- "Hamari gaiyya nahi mil rahi.. Dikhe to batai.." ;-)

American ne India ka masaledaar dinner liya,Agli subah toilet se nikalte hi bola,Ab samjha Indians Q paani se dhote Hai,Tissue paper to aag pakad lega....

Banta: What is a fine?
Santa: Fine is a tax for doing wrong.
Banta: And what is tax?
Santa: A tax is a fine for doing right.

Boy:Mai tumhare liye sab chhod dunga
Girl:Maa,Papa? Boy:Haan
Girl:Apne Dost?
Boy:Haan
Girl: daru?
Boy: Didi ghar jao, Aapke papa parishan ho rahe honge.;-)

Son: Dad give me the car keys please. I am old enough to drive.
Father: Yes, but the car is not old enough to be given.

1 officer School checking k time Dekhta hai ki 1 Teachr ladki ko kiSS kar raha hai.Officer:What iS thiS?Teac:"Maar Se nahi pyar Se Samjha raha hu.

While creating wives, God promised men that good & ideal wives will be found in all corners of the world and then he made the earth round!

Jyoitishi: Tere upper shani ki dash hai 1100/ do, dasha hata dunga
Banta: Mere pass nahi hai
Jyotishi: To 101/ de do
Banta: Nahi hai
Jyotishi: 11/ de do
Banta: Abhi to nahi hai
Jyotishi: phir chinta mat karo Rahu Ketu Shani tino milkar bhi tumhara kya bigaar lenge

Teacher: If u tell me where is God, I`ll reward u wid 100 rupees.
Pappu: And if u tell me where God is not there, I`ll reward u wid 200 rupees!

Ladki_ maa...
ye padosi ka ladka mujhe baar baar kiss kar k bhag jata hai maa muskura ke boli_bada shararti hai... bilkul apne baap par gaya hai

What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Santa:It’s loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

Girl- Ye ratein Ye hawaein Ye chandni Ye ghataye Ye nadiya Ye kinare Boyfnd-Abe Tu pyar kr rahi he ya mausam ki jankari de rahi Hai .

WIFE:I wish i was ur book so that i could be in front of ur eyes constantly.

HUSBAND:I wish u were a calendar which i could replace every year!!!

Chemical joke
All electrons were in a party protons attacked them .A Hero saves them.
Electrons asked them who are you?
Hero said




My name is
Bond
COVALENT BOND

adam: Hi darling!
Eve: Bolo.
Adam: Do you love me?
Eve: No, never.
Adam: Why?
Eve: abbe ! mere paas option kahan hai??? ( There is no other option!!!)

CHILD:DAD DID YOU EVER VISITED EGYPT
DAD:NO
CHILD:THEN FROM WHERE DID YOU BRING "MUUUMMMI"

Child1: My father has not worked for a day from the last five years.
Child2: Why?
Child1: Because he is a night watchman.

Machhar apne pote se-beta hmare jmane me khoon choosna itna aasan nhi hota tha.
Pota-Q
Dada- Kyonki us jmane me ldkiya pure kapde jo pahankar soti thi.

Santa: Kahan se bol rahe ho?
Banta: Mobile se.
Santa: Main puchh raha hun konsi jaga se bol rahe ho.
Banta: Muhn se bol raha hun.

Santa ki Maa Ki tabiyat kharab thi, Hospital gaye to Doctor ne kaha ki "Test" Hongi. Santa: Inki umar zyada hai test nahi One-Day ya T-20 karwa lo