Marriage Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 3

Wife: Hi, Did You Eat?
Husband: Did You Eat?
Wife: Are You Copying Me?
Husband: Are You Copying Me?
Wife: I Love You!
Husband: Yes, I Already Ate

wife to husband ;dear this computer is not working as per my command..............husband;darling ..it's a computer not a husband

As per research

A man speaks 25,000 words daily
&
A woman speaks 30,000

Problem starts when husband comes home
from office after consuming his 25,000 words
&
wife starts her 30,000..

''An Intelligent Wife Is One
Who Makes Sure She Spends
So Much
That
Her Husband
Can't Afford Another
Women....

What a married man says after years of marriage:-
My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding :)
she doesn't Trust me & I dont Understand her.

Ek Admi Ka Hont Jala Huwa Tha.
Kisi Ne Poocha Kese Jala?
Admi Bola.
Wife Ko Chorne Station Gaya Tha.
Khushi K Mare Train K Enjine Ko Choom Liya Tha...

PATNI Maine Tumhe bina dekhe shadi ki Can you belive That PATI Aur meri himmat dekho Ki Maine Tumko dekhne Ke baad B TumSe Shadi Ki

Wife:mujhe shadi se pehle q nhi btaya k tmhari phle hi RANI naam ki wife h
Husband:mene shadi se pehle btaya to tha k me tmhe RANI ki trah rkhunga

1 Car ki nilami ho rhi thi 1lakh,2la,3la
GOLU shocked-Is khatare me aisa kya h

Seler-Iske 10 acidnts hue h & hr bar sirf Bv mari h

GOLU:8 Lakh.

Shaadi Wale Din Juta Chhupane Ki Rasam kyun Hoti Hai?
Dulhe Ko Aakhri Chance Diya Jata Hai Ki..
Ab Bhi Waqt Hai,
Nange Paao Bhag Jao!!!..

Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name? Patient: Santa.
Nurse: Birthdate? Patient : 01 Feb
Nurse : Married?
Patient : No, car accident

Ek pareshan Pati apni patni se kehta hey....

Apni Marji Se Jeene
Nahi Deti Hai....

.
.

Aur
.
.

Karwa Chouth Vrat Rakh Ke Marne Bhi Nahi Deti Hai...

Puri LIFE ko Sudharne k liye 1 WIFE kafi he

Par 1 WIFE ko sudharne k liye puri LIFE b kam he

-Swami Dukhiya Nandji

Wife:Shaadi se pehle to tum mujhe roz gift diya karte the ab kyu nahi dete?Hsbnd:Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai kya!!

Husband Wife Say : Darling
Tum Mujhe 1 Jaga Se Bohat Achi Lagti Ho,
Wife: Kahan se?
Husband: Doooooooor se,

Married Life is so Easy ..its just like walking in the park


but the problem is the park is

Jurassic park !!!

Sadhu: We go yrs widout verbal communication we call it maun vrat, Man: we have the same experience, but we call it Marriage....

Hsbnd 2 wife
Hi,wt u doin darlin
W-im dying
H-Jumps wid joy bt types-
oh my dear,how cn i live witot U
w-U idiot im dying my hair
H-Bloody english.

Whats a marriage??
A marriage is an agreement where the men's lose their bachelors and woman gain their masters.

Samay par ghar jao to khana garam Or Biwi thandi milti h
Late jao to khana thanda Or Biwi garam milti he
Boliye janab,
khana garam chahiye ya biwi

Patni (gusse mein):
Tum Sab Mard Ek Jaise Hote Ho..

Excellent Counter Question:

Pati:
"Tum Sab Mard" Se Kya Matlab, Tum Kitno Ko Janthi Ho??

Zabardast Reply:

Patni:
Yaad Nhi..! :D :P

Aey Khuda Mere Wo Tamaam Gunha Maaf karma
.
.
.
.
Jin Ki Wajah Se Meri Shadi Ruki Hui Hai

Note- Shadi Shuda Log "Ruki" Lafz Hataa Kar Padhe.. ;-)

Shaadi Ke 3 Mahine Baad Admi Ka Haalath Aise Hota Hai Jaise Usko
"LIQUID OXYGEN" Mein Dubaya Gaya Ho..
LIQUID Saas Nahi Lene Degi Aur OXYGEN Marne Nahi Dega!;)

Y do Bride's Parents need to pay Dowry in marriage.?

CA STUDENT:
Because Excise Duty on Production is payable at the time of Removal

Husband makes a mistake..


Wife shouts.


Husband says Sorry...


Wife makes a mistake,


Husband shouts,


Wife cries &
Husband again says Sorry.... :P

Sonu:Mai Bahut Pareshan Hu Yaar,
Monu:Kya Hua?
Sonu:Mai Kuch Bhi Krta Hu To Meri Biwi Beech Me aa Jati Hai.
Monu-Ek Kaam Kar Tu Car Chala Ke Dekh Le.

Bhagwan ne ek admi ki yadasht mita di phir ussse pucha:-Kuch yaad hai tumhe?
Usne apni biwi ka naam bata diya.
Bhagwan:-Formet karne k baad bhi Virus nahi gaya.

Husband N Wife Were Fighting,
Husbnd Aakhir Ma Bola:

Begum Yeh Masla Humein Larai
se Nahi Aqal Se Hal Karna Chahiye!

Biwi Boli:
Han Haan!
Ta K Tum Jeet Jao:-

Patni-Agar Me Mar Gayi To Aap Royenge Kya.?

Pati-Pehle Tu Ye Bata Me Abhi Haas Raha Hu Kya..??

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.