Hindi Jokes Quotes - Page 40

100 logon se pucha gaya k unko Larkiyon ka
“BRAIZER”
kis tarah ka pasand hai?

2% ne kaha
“White”

1% ne kaha
“Black”

97% ne kaha
.
.
“UTRA HUA”

Customer:-Bhai kab se wait kar raha hon
khana abhi tak tayar nahi hoa?

Hotel wala:-Bhai sahab khana to 3 din say tayyar hai
bas garam ho raha hai.

1Rat 1Kanjus K Ghar Aag Lgi Thi
Wo Apne Ghar Ko Bacha Nahi Saka

Puchho Q?

Q Ki Wo Sari Raat FIRE BRIGADE Wale Ko Mis cal karta raha!
LikeU

aik pathan bachpan sai hi pareshan tha kai
meri behan kai 3 bhai hain lakin meray 2

What is common between Allama Iqbal, Gandhi and
Qaid-e-Azam?
Pathan replied
“All r born on govt holidays”

Teacher: what is meant by
“I MISS YOU”
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Is ka matlab hai
“Mein tumhari miss hon!”

American pathan se : Hum chand par ja sakta hay.
Pathan : To kia hua ham sooraj par ja sakta hay.
American : Impossible Tum jal jao gay.

Pathan : Hum pagal nahi hay ham raat mein jaiga

Pathan Cycle Ka
Brake hath mein
Lekar nach
Raha Tha
Sardar: yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Pathan: oye!
Yara dikhta nahi kya?
BRAKE DANCE!
More Sms

3 pagalo ko hospital se discharge karte samay doctors ne test kiya dewar per door ka scatch banaya aur teeno se kaha yeh door khol kar ghar jao 2 pagal bhag kar door kholne lage doctors ne pehle wale se pocha tum door nahi khologe to us ne kaha yeh dono pagal hai us door ki key mere pass hai

Ladka Shadi ke liye ladki dekhne gaya,
usne ladki se pucha,
Tumpe me Vishwas kaise karu?
Ladki Boli pehle istemal karo phir vishwas karo.

Patient - Dr. sabah ye dava kisi bhi medical store me nahi mil rahi.
Dr. - Ohh sorry, medicine likhni to mein bhool hi gaya, ye to mera signature hai

Maalik to Santa: Tu to kehta tha ke tu thakta nahi hai. Aaj fir tu sota hua paya gaya hai.

Santa: Mere na thakne ka yahi to raaz hai.

A boy told his friend, “yar aik larki mujh ko hans k dekh rahi hai”. Friend answered: “Sahi se dekh, hans k dekh rahi hai ya dekh k hans rahi hai :-)”

Boy: BUS aur LARKI
aik jaisi hoti hain,
1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai.

Girl: RAKSHAY aur LARKAY
ek jaisay hotay hain,
1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain

Boy went 2 drop AuntyA:Raat ho gai Bitu k Pas So jao B:No Anty Sofe Pe So JaungaNxt day a Sexy GIRL brng Tea B:Aap?Gal:me Bitu & UBoy:Ulu ka patha;-)

Tufani barish me rat ko pizza hut par Santa pizza lene gaya..Waiter : Ap maried hO?..Santa : .....is tufani barish me kya meri maa muje pizza lene bhejegi..

Gabbar Wala darr Ab Purana Ho Gaya
Aajkal Door Gao Me Raat KO Jab Maa-Baap Sote Nahi.
To Bachcha Kehta Hai:So Jao Bapu..Nahi To Ek aur HO jayega.

Aik Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi k lye haan bol di hai”

Doosra: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se tallaaq nahi dunga.

Waiter gives bill 2 Santa
Santa:Take this card.
Waiter:But sir,this is voter card.
Santa:So what?u hav written there-ALL CARDS ACCEPTED

jinn: kya hukum hai mere aka?
Aaka: mere acount me 10crore cashaur katrina se shadi 10 sec me kara do
jinn: aaka hukum karo haramipana nahi....!!

Air hostes pathan se,
Sir,ap kya lena pasand karenge
Pathan: Humare liye taveez wala chai lao,
Airhostes: Abey akhrot, woh taveez nahi tea bag he

Jailor-Tum kis zurm mai andar aye ho


Qaidi-Sarkar Se competition ho gaya tha


Jaiol-Kis baat ka


Qaidi-Note chap ne ka

aurat jyotish k pas jakar hath dikhati he
Jyotsh: Aap 3 mahine me vidhva ho jayogi.
Aurat:Ye to mujhe bi pata he,ye batao pakdi jaaungi ya nai

2 Aadmi kabrastan me
1 bola-Ye log bade Aaram se sote hai
1 Murda kabra se utha or bola Kyo na soye
Yeh jagah Jaan dekar hasil ki hai

Santa:Mujhe to aankhe band karne par b dikhayi deta hai

Banta:Acha! Kya dikhta hai?

Santa:Andhera!

Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lenge.
Mom: lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai.
Child: Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiyan yhi rahti hai.

pandit- tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiyaan aayengi...
boy- kab aayengi???
pandit- jyada khush hone ki jarurat nahi hai, 1 biwi aur 5 daughters hain...

Aap ko macharone bhahoot pareshan kiya usaki khopadi ghoomi,usane zahar piya aou bola kato kato ab sab mar jaogey.

Man: sir i m married, i had 10 childs, plz tell me my favorite stone, favorite star, & favorite number, Astropamist: Oh. No. ab ap ka guzara SABAZ SITARA sey hi ho ga……

Raat ko ek ladki ne Santa ki car ko rukne ka ishara kia
: Oh, Im Sorry! Main samjhi taxi hai.
Santa: Main bhi yehi samjha tha.

Next Generation sholay dialog-
Mom: Beta so jaa warna gabbar aa jayega..
Son: 100 rupya do warna papa ko bata dunga ki mere sone ke baad gabbar aata hai..

Mallika Sherawat ne Baba Ramdevji se pucha ke me nahate samay kya lagun ki mera yauvan surakshit rahe ?

Baba ne kaha -
CHITAKANI

Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye

6 Hijede badhaai dene gaye.
-:Haye-Haye:- **Hume to 2100 Lenge 2100**
piche se aawaz aaiiiiiiiiiiii
abe 2300 lelo Usme FM Bhi Hain.

Pagal khane me pagal nach rhe the
In me se 1 pagal khamosh baitha tha
Dr.ne pucha
tum q khamosh baithe ho ?

pagal ne kaha
bewquf mai Dulha hu....

bandar ki beti ne kaha papa main sadi karna chahti hun to bap ne kaha ruko dulha sms padh raha hai.agar w muskura de to samjho rista paka ho gaya.

salman:aaj mere paas 14 cars, 18 bikes, 4 bunglow,3 farmhouse hai......
tere paas kya hai?

amitabh: mere paas beta hai...
jiske paas teri item hai!!

MUSHARAF narak me yamraj se: Ek call pakistan kar lu?
yam: Ok !
call ke baad,
Mush :kitna bill hua?
Yam :kuch nahi.
Mush :kyon?
Yam : Narak 2 narak free hai...

Aman To Chaman: Tell Me 5 Animals Living In Water?
Aman: Hmmm…..Fish.
Chaman: Thik Ha Aur Chaar?
Aman: Fish Ke Brother, Sister Father And Mother…

Bnta:Baccha Paida hotay samay nanga Q aata hy?
S:Us k pas kapde kharedne k liya paise kaha Hota hy

Santa: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet. Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.

pagal-Dr. sahab main khud ko bhagwan samjhne laga hu.doctor-ye problem kabse hai? pagal- jabse maine ye duniya banai hai

Girl 2 Pandit: Ji mere 2 affairs hain, un dono main kis ke saath shadi hogi? wo khush naseeb kon hoga??
Pandit: Pehle se shadi hogi or dosra khush naseeb hoga.

Boy- chal shadi kr ke bhag jate hai ya bhag k shadi kr le. Gil- fate hue chappal se mar khayega ya chappal fatne tak mar khayega.

Papa- Beti 12th K Bad Kya Karogi?

Beti- B.B.A Karungi.

Papa- Wat is BBA!

Beti- Boyfriend Ki Bike Pr Aish ..!

Memon At Petrol Pump

Bhai 1rs Ka Petrol Dal Do

Salesman: Bhai Itna Sara Petrol Dalva
K Kahan Jana Hai?

Memon: Jana Kahan Hai Hm
To Aise Hi Paise Urate Hen

Ek 16 saal ka ladka mar gaya..

Uski maa boli- isne toh abhi duniya bhi nahi dekhi

1 ladki boli- aunty aap chinta nat karo maine dikha di thi