Jokes Wishes and Status Messages - Page 53

How do u keep a sardar whole day busy?????
Take him to a circular room n ask him to sit in a corner....

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Santa: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.
Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"

A 10 year old boy went to an ice-cream shop& asked How much a cone costs? Waiter said:RS.15 The boy started counting how much he had in his purse Then he asked how much a small cup cost?Waiter said:RS.12 The boy asked for a small cup He had it,paid bill&left When the waiter came to pick the empty cup,he was touched The boy had left RS.3 coins as tip for him MORAL:Try giving something to everyone out of whatever little you have..

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Son: I want 2 tell u something.

Father: Its not gud 2 talk when u r eating.

(After eating)

Father: Now tell me.

Son: There was a cockroach in ur food.
Gd evng dear

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Silly thng abt love- when u get little, u want more.. When u gt more, u desire evn more.
But
wen u loose it, u realise evn
'little' was
enough..

Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!

A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

Santa opened A College. Guess the Name of College?
The Name of the the College was: WOMEN`S COLLEGE FOR BOYS

If girl vomits her parents asks-Kon tha wo Kamina?

If boy vomit-Kamine,Kaha pikar aya ho?

Moral:

No matter who ever vomits,
Boys r always kamine

"You should be ashamed," the father told his son, "When Abraham Lincoln was your age he used to walk ten miles everyday to get to school." "Really?" the kid said. "Well when he was your age, he was President."

Interviewer: Why did you change your last job? Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where!

A Scientist disconnected
his Doorbell.
Do you know why.?

Bcoz,

He wanted to Win
the No-Bell Prize..

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

An Engineering
Question paper…

What is the solution
for 2+2.?

Options :
A) 4
B) Four
C) IV
D) 4.0

Now you realise
Why Engineers
get arrears.?!

1day Sardar had a dream dat some1 killed him. Next day he closed his ICICI Bank Account
Why? Why?
B'coz of ICICI's slogan "WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE"

IT guy - (Asks worker) What do you have?
Daily Wage Construction Worker - …….stays * quite*
IT guy - I have Money, Name, Stock Options What do
you have?
Daily Wage Construction Worker - (Softly) I have work.

Boss: Santa, bring two corner tickets for movie for me & my GF. Santa brought two corner tickets A1 & A15.

One guy suddenly got up in a plane and said Hijack!

Everybody raised their hands.

Then suddenly another guy from other side got up & said HiJohn!

Crazy people...

A girl and a boy were sitting alone. The boy started touching the girl.
The girls said, 'All these things are after marriage only'.
The Boy replied 'Ok Ok, call me after your marriage'.

Man 2 pretty girl in Bazar:
I lost my wife here, can U talk to me for a while?
Girl:Why?
Man:Coz whenever I talk to any Girl, my Wife appears out of nowhere!;

Prosecutor: Did you kill him? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder.

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
Santa stands up- we must find & stop her!.

frog asked astroger;'plz tell my future'
ast;a young beautiful girl will touch u.
frog;great, but when and where?
ast;next semester in zoology lab.

Santa told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Santa: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you? Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother.

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents